MAN SKIRTS...

Late Reactions

I'm twenty-four...

My god man!

I SAY old chap!

But seriously...holy crap!

Mathmatical Ramblings

I'm bored. I'm in math and I'm bored...what a surprise. Anyone worth talking to is either busy or talking about the election. How boring. Its gray and raining outside...like it has been for several days. Boregon weather at its finest. I'm hungry, annoyed(mostly with myself), tired, and desperately wishing I had money. I know money doesn't make you truly happy but at this point it'd sure make a difference. For someone who's supposedly a history major in progress I sure don't spend much time enjoying history. Wasted time spent doing meaningless things that give me a brief smidgeon of happiness. And if I spend enough time wasting time I can ignore what I should actually be spending my time on.

Oops...whats the answer? 42?

A Humbling Experience

I took a side trip out to Verdun during our week in Paris. For those of you who don't know the historical significance of Verdun I will give a brief summary. The city of Verdun and the surrounding countryside played host to the longest and bloodiest battle of the First World War. It is the text book definition of attrition warfare with the number of dead and injured easily topping one million over a nine month period. Nine outlying towns, with populations of up to one thousand residents, were wiped completely off the map. The rubble of some of these towns fought for, taken, and retaken up to sixteen times.


The picture above is what remains of the town of Fleury. The pockmarked landscape, a few bricks, paths marking the route of former streets, and small markers where homes, shops, and schools used to be are all that remain of the town. The landscape seems to be cloaked in perpetual silence. Walking the former town by myself was a humbling experience. Knowing that the ground I was walking on used to be a thriving French farming town. Knowing that it had been reduced to rubble and the earth churned over again and again by millions of shells...leaving it a desolate wasteland of death and mud. Knowing that every foot of this former town had literally been soaked in the blood of thousands of French and German troops. And even in the warmth of a French summer day I felt small and cold.


This feeling was repeated time and time again on my tour of the battlefield. The picture above is of The Trench of Bayonets. An entire company of French troops (that's roughly one hundred men) were huddled in their trench waiting to go over the top when a series of simultaneous explosions lifted the earth in front of them and buried them alive with their bayonets sticking out of the ground. A memorial was built over the trench and it wasn't until recently that they removed the bayonets.

This photo is of a sealed off portion of Fort Douaumont which the Germans took during the first days of the battle. The earthen fort, which was largely underground, was used as a rest stop for battered German units pulled back from the front and as a way point for fresh units to move through on their way to the front. A massive explosion in the lower levels, which caught an entire room full of stored flame throwers in its path, traveled upwards into a series of underground galleries where German wounded lay, killing nine hundred men. The survivors sealed off these galleries and turned them into mass tombs for their comrades.

Even after seeing these places and learning what went on there it is difficult to fully comprehend what really happened. The reality of it is so far removed from anything we know today that it is almost impossible to understand it beyond an intellectual level. One can only be shown what remains and be given the facts. And yet even with this minuscule amount of information I am still left humbled by the horror of it all.

Mission "Honeymoon": Success

All I had to do was say I had a nail file in my back pocket and look what I got.

Lazy Sundays

Well Daphne posted this morning and since, like her, i've got the time to waste I suppose i'll post as well. We're out in Central Oregon this weekend with our friend Washu from Wally World. Her family has a nice getaway out here and we're enjoying the get away. Its just past noon and Daphne and I are still in PJs. The third member of our little party is probably still in bed so we're kinda stuck sitting around until she rises. I'm not really complaining...frankly i'm used this sort of thing when dealing with Washu...but it does get a little boring. Luckily we all have laptops and wi-fi. Daphne is starting up her second tea pot this morning with some stuff she just dug out of hiding in one of the pantries. We're listening to Katy Perry's Your So Gay. Since its Daphne's birthday she got to choose the music. Its good stuff but we're listening to the entire CD all the way through so its getting a little tiring.

And I just realized i'm wandering. Oh well...its not like there's anything else to do. :P

In Response...

After Avi's little post can you honestly say this doesn't seem at least slightly accurate?

Knock on Wood

I'm doing it again. I'm writing and erasing and writing and erasing and writing some more. Nothing I put to words seems to be able to convey what I feel like right now. This is beginning to look almost regular. I get a couple months, maybe half a year, where everything is just fine and dandy.

Then life kicks me out the window to see if I can fly.

And they just keep getting worse too. A break up. School problems. Another break up. Work problems. Car problems. Parents kicking me out and taking my stuff. Each time the severity of the situation goes up a notch or two and I keep wondering how things could get worse. At this point I should just swear off asking that question. Life, it seems, takes questions like that as a challenge. At this point the next step up has got to be a death or something equally severe. But at this point i'm still in the 'this CAN'T be real' phase. I keep wishing this was a dream but thats never helped before so i've just kinda settled myself into my fall back mood...deep melancholy.

Perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Knock on wood.

Swamped...

I'm not even done with the first week of the new quater and i'm already swamped. Well not really but I am rather intimidated by the pile of books i've had to purchase. Twelve books in total and only one of them ISN'T a history book. And this is only from three classes! Plus I have to continue reading for a class I took an incomplete on two quarters ago. So in effect I have fifteen books to read this quarter. Oh the classes shouldn't be too bad on their own but the reading...oi!

Oh and for those of you who don't get the joke thats a Swamp land from the Magic the Gathering card game. I thought it only appropriate as this whole post was about being swamped...oh never mind.

Political Quiz

The worlds smallest political quiz.

http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz.html

Take it and see where you stand.

Crunch Time Again

Its come down to that time yet again. Its crunch time at school and i'm hating it already. German is giving me the hard time this quarter. Maybe i'm not cut out for language or maybe i'm just being dodgy about hard classes. Whatever the case i'm having a hard time. I refuse to fail a class at this point though. Ugh... I know i'm disappointing not only myself but Daphne as well with this lack luster performance. The way i'm acting its like my getting somewhere in life doesn't matter to me and even LOOKING like i'm that way is not something I would want cropping up in a serious relationship. I honestly don't know why Daphne puts up with me but there must be something in me she likes...otherwise she'd be long gone. And i'm profoundly grateful she's decided to stay.

Uh huh...No I'm Listening...

Is it so hard to listen attentively to someone? Or even LOOK like you're listening attentively? I try to listen to anyone who's speaking to me. I make an effort to listen and act and look like I am. But it seems like I don't deserve the same respect in return. A good chunk of the people I talk to each day seem to loose interest if I talk for more than five seconds. Even my friends have this disturbing tendancy. Even the Fiance does this on occasion. Now I know no one is perfect and that some topics just don't catch your interest. Some people's idea of "paying attention" also differ radically from my own. And some people can really talk...alot. Still...make an effort people. It's the polite thing to do and if you're doing it to me I can assure you that my mental scoreboard will be docking points. And if you do it enough I WILL let you know it.

Thoughts on a New Year...

Well i'm a few days late for a New Years post but oh well. 2008 is looking like it's gonna be one hell of a year. School, Marriage, Travel, Moving, Elections, and a half dozen more to boot.

I'm sitting here back in my dorm room downtown getting ready for another quarter. I'm determined that this will be a better, more productive, quarter then the last one was. I'm serious about making this work. I've left my desktop computer at home because it causes too much distraction. I also ditched my CD collection and some novels but kept the DVDs for some reason. I've even got someone to help keep me on track; hopefully I won't need his help too much. I'm currently signed up for 16 credits but that may change in the next couple days. I'm gonna have a full plate this quarter and i'm dead set on making it work.

Marriage, as you know, is coming ever closer. Seven months now and i'm beginning to feel the preasure...and thats with Daphne gone! We've got half a dozen things that need doing soon; Ring adjustment, Couples counciling, Engagement photos, etc. I've left too much of the planning and organization to Daphne till now. I know she loves planning and all but i've not been as involved as I should be so with the new year i've decided to pull my weight. About time too. Travel and Moving really fall under the Marraige umbrella so i'll just add them to the 'to do before July' list.

I've begun thinking about what i'll be selling/giving/throwing away before the two of us move into our first home. I've caught myself looking at something and wondering where the hell i'd put something like that in our home. Stuff that is perfectly fine for an unmarried post-teen guy that doesn't need to worry about a spouse's thoughts on room and looks seems to be popping up everywhere I look. It's weird to see some of the things i've treasured for so long suddenly looking much less desireable in the light of marriage. Some of it i'll keep. Some will be put away for another generation of kids, like my lego collection. And a good chunk of stuff, most of which my parents confiscated months ago, is going to only be seen once more before it departs forever for parts unknown.

One more thing seems to be hanging over our heads now with the new year...Elections, and the media frenzy that comes with them, are upon us. I'm only barely paying attention to things and it already feels overwhelming. Of course that may be beacuse I watched alot of television over break but even so it feels more and more like it's impossible to escape the hype. I'll be glad when this initial stage is over and the main contestants have been decided. And no matter who gets the job in the end they'll have to be better then what we've had for the last 8 years. Or at least I hope they will be.

2007 wasn't a wonderful year. It had its moments but overall it wasn't worth much. This year is looking SO much better.