Reality Sucks...

It is offical; Reality sucks! It's about as good as the gum you find stuck to the bottom of your shoes. There seems to be a universal law that applies to me now that I have started my life as a grown human being. Whenever something good happens in my life there will always be something bad nipping at its heals. For instance... Yesterday my mom and I had a discussion in which she suggested that I take Spring quarter off of school and visit England. We talked about it for hours and soon afterward I was online looking up things I would need to know for such a trip. I wasn't walking on air but it was close enough. Then, today, I got fired. Yeah thats right. I got let go because of one too many small mistakes. I get my last check on Wednesday and thats that.

So what now? Well I guess I pick myself up off my rear end, dust myself off, and go look for a new job. Considering how well my searches for jobs have gone in the past I doubt i'll have one for several weeks. Sigh.

Rock Anthem for Saving the World...

(Title has nothing to do with blog...its the song i'm listening to cause I couldn't think of a better title. ^^)

Beautiful day today. No clouds, sunny, not too cold... a perfect early spring day... but its not spring. Everything west of the Rocky Mts is in spring while the rest of the country's snowed in. At least thats what it seems like. Didn't get to enjoy alot of it though cause I had to work then go to school. The only contact I had with the sun was when I biked to and from work. Shrug.

You know what... I don't have anything to write about today. It's 10 pm and i'm bored. I should be doing homework but i'm not cause I can. Everyone else is asleep and i'm staring at a bright screen, plumbing the depths of the net as I do everyday. Pathetic...really pathetic.

Well at least i've got good music. (It's Halo)

Addicting Past-times...

I finally know the thrill that is Massive Multiplayer Online games. People have been trying to get me into them for years and i've resisted for several reasons. They're too expensive, too time consuming, too addictive, etc. But remove one of those obsticals, namely price, and add a unique game idea and you've got me hooked. The game itself is a recreation of world war two naval warfare. Basically you have a ship and you join a room with lots of other people and have a big fight. Of course you start out with a midget ship with pathetic guns but as you advance in levels you're able to obtain better ships as well as choose a nation. There's so much detail! Now I loath having to leave my computer...but the fact that my job brings in money and i've already paid for school is keeping me relatively safe from being totally consumed. Still my parents are grumbling at me about it but they haven't done anything major yet...like lock down my computer. ; )

Ice Ice Baby!...

Woohoo! The greater Portland area is iced in! I woke up this morning to find the roads covered, my windows encrusted, and the doors out of my house glued shut by ice. Then my dad presented me with the news that my work called and said they were going to close for today because of the weather. So I get a full day at home! No responsibility! Oh how I love snow and ice days... just wish this had been on a school day. I'll have time to play, to write, to do whatever! *Cackles evily at the thought*

Uninteresting Tidbits...(and a poem)

This week has been fairly dull unfortunatly. Aside from a large amount of emails from a certain someone and a rather nice 512mb Jumpdrive that my dad bought its been pretty dull this week. The new car is working nicely and none of my classes are giving serious trouble yet so there's really not much to talk about as far as events go. Sigh...There are days you just wish you hadn't gotten out of bed. This happens to be one of them.

It really is amazing how much a long anticipated email or letter can effect someone. How their words can bring back images and memories of faces unseen and laughs unheard for many a month. Filling in the holes in a patchwork image of a friend or lovers distant life. They are longed for, prayed for, and hoped for. And when they finally come there is an unmeasureable warmth that spreads through a person's body that can only be matched by waiting patiently for the next.

"There is no greater wonder than the way the

face of a young woman fits in a man's mind, and

stays there, and he could never tell you why, it

just seems it was the thing he wanted."

- Robert Louis Stevenson

New Car...

Just a quick update here. Parents paid for a new car today. For the few people who actually know me you'll be interested to know that it's a camary, just like ash's car only newer. In fact i'm almost certain it's identical to ash's mom's new car. I'll have to compare notes when I see it up close next time. Course I won't be driving this new wonder car anytime soon because my parents don't trust me. ; ) Just kidding.

Of Work and Upset Stomachs...

The week is over and I finally get to rest. And boy do I need it. Tae Kwon Do is gonna be EXTREME! I hurt all over from yesterday's class, and that was just from warm up and basics! I couldn't even finish training with everyone else cause I felt like I was gonna barf. What does that say about how fit I am? Argh!

Then there was work today and I had to ride my bike there in the rain and cold with aching muscles and slog through non-stop food orders and problems with the cashregister. And now I'm not sure if the stomach ache i'm sporting is a hold over from my workout yesterday or from some other malady. And then of course there's the fact that I haven't been getting enough sleep lately because school has upset my holiday sleep patterns and forced me to kick it back into high gear.

But thank God for weekends!

The Return of...School!

Yes School has returned! Whether thats a good thing or a bad thing i'll leave up to you. This quarter is going to be very very interesting. I managed to lighten my load slightly by dropping cultural anthropology in favor of a one credit Tae Qwon Do(sp) PE class. Still, it comes out to a nice 14 credits. I go to a math on mon/wed night from 6-830. Tues/Thurs are the packed ones just like last quarter. I start the day off at 9 with PE then go to history. I take an hour break then hit English. Then I have like a three and a half hour break before geology. So basically i'm at school on tues/thurs from 9 to 830! I don't even get to go home even though its like less then 10 minutes via car to home. Since I don't have a car i'm stuck at school. The good thing is there's a movie theater across the street with all the latest movies out. And when school really gets rolling i'll just spend my time in the library doing homework. So it actually works out really well.

The only bad thing about the return of "school" is that my free time suffers. While I can get away with less of it without too much harm, its what it does to my writing that really sucks. One of my favorite past times is writing fanfiction and i've already fallen behind in updates. But now that school's started again i'm gonna be even farther behind. Who knows when i'll get the time?! My readers are already complaining. Added to that is the fact that my english class is centered around a single massive research paper. Its gonna take up alot of time just doing that! Argh! But it's for the best I guess.

Oh, one more thing. I'm almost finished reading an incredible book by the name of Shogun. If you have any interest at all in ancient Japan then its a definite must read. I drool just thinking about it. See...*droooooollllll*

Saluting the New Year...

Rawr! Woot woot... and all that. A new year has begun and frankly...it doesn't look much different then the last one. ;) I spent the whole night playing games and junk with my friends and then stumbled home at seven in the morning so I could get six hours of sleep. Oh yeah, I work at five too. I don't think i've laughed as hard as I did last night in a very long time. The fact that the whole lower part of my face was sore is proof enough. If its not i'm sure I could lift up my shirt and find some bruises from all the laughing.

So what's happening in this new year? I've got some rough outlines and lots of ideas and hopes but nothing really solid. I know i'll be starting school up again come monday and I know i'll be continuing to work but thats about all i'm certain of. Oh yeah, i've also got to start paying for those repairs and price hikes my accidents caused. But i'll try not to let that last one get me down. This is going to be an exciting year i'm sure. Its not gonna be just another scratch on the wall. Hope it won't be for any of you either.

A Not So Great Christmas...

I'm back...and glad of it. Idaho was, how should I say it? Interesting? Thats not strong enough. Weird? Not good either. Dang annoying is probably better though I would use more potent words if I didn't want to be nice. My mood went sour about two days in to the trip and it still hasn't recovered. I locked myself in a windowless half bathroom for the better part of a day because my brother was being an idiot and my mom put her foot down and told me she'd call the cops if she got one more complaint from him about me, among various other things. I'm still not talking to her much but its getting better. But it kinda ruined the fun for the family. sigh... My grandfather got really harsh with me for the first time in my life and kicked me out of the bathroom when no one else could. It was just so shocking coming from him that I kinda just moved. It was our "white elephant" of the trip. There were other disappointments as well but I won't go into them.

There were a few good things though. The house was awesome, except that I couldn't find a quiet place to read whenever the tv was on cause it echoed throughout the house. It was on one of the east hills in boise and had one of the best views of the whole valley that you could ask for. And with clear skies almost the entire time we had some great sunsets and the night lights were impressive. Only snowed a bit the first morning we were there and it only stuck around for about an hour. But it was nice. My family got a new computer so now I have mine to myself. The only reason i'll use the new one is because it has a dvd burner. grr...wish I had one. It'll also be very nice to sleep in a real bed again because I was religated to the floor and a sleeping bag while there because there weren't enough beds. But my brother didn't get one either so that was ok. And I guess excepting the problems with tempers I enjoyed the time with my family. And joy of joys, I hardly heard any christmas music! I am so tired of the stuff!

PS - Hope you're having a fun time over there Daphne. Keep safe!

(Current music: "Never Surrender" from the Halo 2 Soundtrack)

Idaho Bound...

I'm taking a moment off from packing to type. My family is disappearing to Idaho for a week to celebrate christmas with my dad's side of the family. That means one aunt and uncle and a pair of grandparents. No cousins or other relatives on my dad's side, thats it. So it's not going to be a spectacular event this year, not that it ever is. The only thing I can really look forward to on this trip is the company and the scenery. Anyway... I won't be online for a week at least unless my uncle lets me get on his. I might be taking my dad's laptop so I can spend some time writing though. So happy holidays to all...i'll see you on the side.

PS - Have fun wandering around europe Daphne...wish I was there.

Across the Ocean part II...

"Laura Kissed Me"

Laura kissed me when we met,

jumping from the chair she sat in;

Time, you thief! who love to get

Sweets into you list, put that in:

Say I'm weary, say I'm sad,

Say that health and wealth have missed me,

Say I'm growing old, but add, -

Laura kissed me.

By: Leigh Hunt

(originally titled "Jenny Kissed Me")

Spiffy...

Just a quick update. I went downtown yesterday and got myself a spiffy new chinese kung fu type jacket. Black with roll up sleeves to show a bit of white. Frogged buttons and mandrin collar. Very nice. Just the perfect size for me. Its really spiffy ^^ I'll have to take a picture with me wearing it and get it online some how.

*Enter Suitable Witty Comment Here...*

Dare I say it? The quarter...*glances around to see if anything nasty is sneaking up on him*... is over. No don't yell, I don't want the illusion to vanish. I want to enjoy this a little bit more. Tests are out of the way finally and nothing more can be turned in. I managed to get most of my stuff in, emphasis on most there. I really need to stop doing this to myself. I haven't had a normal end of quarter since I was in my freshman year of high school. I need to break this bad habit. Anyway. The car situation is, well, its better then I thought it would be but not by much. Of course I still don't know the full extent of whats going on but i've heard my parents making plans of sorts for a new car. I do know a bit more about what i'll be paying though. At least 250 for each car is coming out of my pocket and I will more then likely be paying the new increase in insurance for who knows how long. Other expenses are yet to be divulged but i'm sure they're out there. With this news comes thoughts about Japan. I've found that I want to go but not for the reasons I thought I did. At least I think thats what i'm thinking. I think i'm being greedy here. The desire remains but I don't want to go through the hastle of planning it all out and putting out the effort to get there. Plus there are expenses and other such things. I want to be there now, be experiencing it now, be living it now, not slaving away to get there months and months from now. Grr...i'm being stupid I know, and lazy too. I'm trying to look at it from another angle and evaluate why I want to go or if I want to go. Who knows, I could just stay here and continue with school. Perish the thought!

F#cked...again!!!

My life has just taken one of the worse turns ever. Almost one week after I had a suburban put a kingsize dent in the rear end of my mom's van, closing the rear loading door until further notice, I managed to rammed into a stopped car on a wet road with my the other family car. Almost no damage to the other car, which is nice, and no one hurt on either side, which is nice too, but our car? Lets just say that it has trouble turning, opening the drivers door, and going anything above 20 miles an hour. Its a 95 corolla thats seen better days and as far as i'm concerned its not worth the fix since my dad has a habit of taking bad care of any care that is labeled as his. One good thing though, the lady I hit as turning into her home and was very nice to me and I to her. We got to know each other in the time it took for my dad to walk from home to the accident(5 or so blocks) and everything worked out very smoothly on her end. Now I just have to face my parents and the insurance people. Right now i'm really wanting not to drive again for about another year. Take me off the insurance cause i'm hating everything there is to hate about cars and the capitalist extorters that are attached to it all. Screw it, i'm riding my bike, even though its winter, or taking the bus, even though I hate it. These, of course, are just initial feelings as this just happened not more then 45 minutes ago. We'll see how I feel a day or so from now when things have cooled down and the results are in. But i'm not holding out for anything good.

Kinda Pointless...

Its nearly nine in the morning and i'm already of the belief that my day is being wasted here at school. My first class of the day was english. It was a first draft review day which means that only half the class shows up and only half of those will have drafts to review. I've never brought in a draft for review and i'm never asked to read them so i'm about as needed in that class as a bump is on a log. Next comes computer class which is well and truely done. All the tests have been taken and i'm content with my grade. So I have an hour and a half to kill. Next is history...ah history. All we have left in that class is the final which is next week. I don't think he'll go into more notes today but i'll show up anyway just in case. How can I say no to history? Then I have another hour to kill before my final class which is political science. Today we turn in our final, which I spent all day yesterday working on, and we can ask her any question on the subject that we want to. She's kept her political leanings very well hidden so that's top on my list. But beyond that we're free to go. Then I go home and sit around for a while before going to my evening math class. I really don't know what to expect from that class even after nearly 2 months of it. So basically my day is building to the point where I hand in my test in PS and go home. Then it begins building again until math. Like I said, a wasted day. ; )

With school winding down and the holidays approaching i'm beginning to think about the new year. With so many things happening in my life this new year will actually be one to remember. It will mark the 1/3 way point through school and show me that I can go nearly three months without seeing my girlfriend. If we can survive this long without too much trouble I have faith that we can get through the rest of the school year. And as this will be my 20th new year I am planning to make it one to remember. No there will be no drinking or anything of that sort, but there will be trouble I assure you. I think i'll ambush a couple of people on the trail or have an all night halo party or something. And before you say it, yes thats what I consider trouble. I know it leaves much to be desired but its good enough for me.

And speaking of ambushing... i've had a fasination with sneaking for most of my life. I would sneak snacks when at my grandmothers, sneak up on friends at school, or sneak bad grades past my parents. But lately i've had a strong desire to go to the next level. I don't exactly know what that entails. I've been eyeing darker clothing and authentic ninja boots if thats any indication. No i'm not planing on robbing someone, just that I want to up my sneakiness level. Kinda sounds like i'm trying to get enough experience points in dnd no? Oh well, its all pointless anyway. ; )

To the girl across the ocean...

"Night"

The night has a thousand eyes,

And the day but one;

Yet the light of the bright world dies

With the dying sun.

The mind has a thousand eyes,

And the heart but one;

Yet the light of a whole life dies,

When love is done.

By: Francis William Bourdillon

Hanging On...

"Its almost over, its almost over, its almost over." I need to keep repeating that to myself otherwise I doubt i'll last through this next week. School is proving to be difficult and work is taking up alot of my free time that would be better used for school work. Also the remnants of sickness are still clinging to me and refusing to leave me be. So i'm hanging on...for the moment.

Now for some news from somewhere besides the battlefront. *pauses to think* You know, there is very little news beyond that. I have little time to play or do anything else constructive or interesting outside of the problem areas above. I miss the more care free days of youth already. When I could read for hours without risk to my grades or work. When I could go an entire weekend without touching my school books or even worrying about them. When sickness was greeted with joy because it meant a way to get away from school. But responsibility has crept up on me and clobbered me into submission. So much for youth. Course growing old is manditory, growing up is optional. ; )

Grr...cats are being stupid again. My cat, elvis, has claim to my bed at all times as far as i'm concerned. But our older family cat, the queen sheba, disagrees. She loves to jump up on the bed and scare my big boy away. It doesn't matter that he's twice the size of sheba and could easily whoop her if he wanted to, hes just too much of a weeine to stand up for himself. But now it seems that they've reached a comfortable balance. Sheba has taken the middle of the bed and Elvis is on one of the corners which is where he likes to sleep anyway. Lets just hope it lasts.

Now I must stop. The creatures in my stomach are growing increasingly angry that they haven't been fed yet this morning. So i'm off to make my peace with them at the breakfast table.

Not Cool...

Finals week is almost upon me, I have a mountain of things to do before the quarter ends and on top of all that homework I have my job. So what better way to greet the new week then with the flu?! I almost have no voice, i'm tired and ache all over, and I keep having to avoid sweets and instead replace them with pills. But hopefully things will resolve soon...if not my grades will most likely suffer.

Oh and did I mention? I put a dented my mom's van's back door when a suburban hit me. We were both trying to avoid some stupid kids who were walking in the middle of an apartment street. Needless to say the suburban got off with narry a nick. I on the other hand dented half of the door. It has trouble opening now. Looks like that birthday money's down the drain. *sigh*

But I don't want turkey...!

Its that time of year again...where we eat, and eat, and eat some more, until we're stuffed so full that no one, especially me, wants to look at roasted bird again for some time. Everything we eat here seems so bland now that i've gotten older yet I really don't want to add some unknown substance to my food to make it taste better. So i'm stuck eating the same bland stuff with, if i'm not away at college, the same people at the same location.

So what can I do to liven up my holiday menu? I've got a few ideas, mostly dealing with food nabbed from the chinese take out I work at. I could pour some firecracker chicken sauce or some honey teriaki sauce on the turket to liven it up. Instead of uber-heavy weight stuffing I could secretly stuff the insides of the bird with fried rice....or I could just bring some root beer to wash away the bland taste. *sigh*

A side note to any of you who bother to read my fanfiction. (I doubt there's more then one out there) I will update here shortly, probably during this break if I can spare the time between family, homework, work, and...turkey. I know its been a long time, probably something like 2 months, but blame that on school and work, not me.