Vala's Corner

Ownership

2009-06-11T22:35:00.000-07:00

I was handed the keys of our new condo today around 4pm. We are now officially house owners. We've also sold our souls to "the man" for the next 30 years. Its a nice place though. Don't know if its worth 2 souls but it IS nice.

Sakura-con 2009

2009-04-14T14:45:00.000-07:00

Another Sakura-con has come and gone in one hectic weekend. Sadly we were lacking in the camera department so the wonders and horrors will be relegated to story only.

It was a wonderful con but I didn't visit nearly as many panels as I did last year. There simply weren't as many that really interested me so I ended up spending a good amount of time in the AMV room, in several of the Anime theaters, and of course the Seller's Hall. And what a seller's hall it was. It keeps getting better and better and bigger and bigger each year. Daphne spent her time jumping from booth to booth picking up pieces for her first cosplay costume which will be from the popular webcomic "Girl Genius". I, on the other hand, kept getting drawn back to one particular booth. My brother and I completely geeked out when we found this booth for it was none other then a custom Lego booth. Much time was spent drooling over custom lego bodies and gear and talking up the guy manning the station. And in the end money was spent...but not nearly enough to quench my resurrected thirst for the little plastic toys.

This was my brother's first con and I must say he seemed to enjoy it greatly. I think that he, like Laura and I, would have had even more fun if we'd been cosplaying. We aim to have at least one cosplay outfit for each of us next year. Oh yes...we're already planning for next year. I look forward to it.

The Sadness of Dreams

2009-03-08T11:02:00.000-07:00

The following is something I wrote this morning after waking up from a very vivid and mildly disturbing dream. I've done this several times before when a particularly interesting or moving dream occurs and stays with me once I wake up. Its not quite a dream journal since there are so few entries but its similar. This is also the first time i've shared one of these types of dreams.

Dream Report
Night of March 7/8, 2009

This was the last in a string of death related dreams this night and the only one I can remember fully.

As usual it was full of dualities. I felt like I was a Uboat captain and death at the same time. I also found my target, an aging cross channel ferry packed full of what looked like non-combatants, on both sea and land(as if it was nothing more then a large party house). (Imagine a paddle-wheeler from the mississippi that was both a boat and a large house.)

It was night. I stalked the ship. I remember stalking it from afar as a Uboat but once I got near I switched to stalking through the garden that surrounded and lead up to the house/boat. Suddenly I felt I’d been discovered in the garden. I turned to find a cat looking at me from a bush. I pulled out a pistol, which was also my finger, and tried to shoot the cat. I missed but scared it away.

I waited till the people on board were asleep in their hammocks and beds before surfacing. I pulled out a water pistol(of all things) and tried to sink the boat by spraying the sides. I think I imagined it to be acid or watery laser fire. In any case it did nothing so I submerged and shot three torpedoes at the ship from close range. They struck the forward portion of the ship. Everything but a large section of the aft end was blown to pieces. The remaining section was full of people who were suddenly awake. They scurried around for a moment or two before the section dipped beneath the waves and took them with it.

With nothing but pieces of flotsam left on the calm sea I transferred back to the garden scene to find the house in shambles; burnt, partly destroyed, and abandoned. The cat reappeared and I chased it down to kill it. I don’t know why I did this now that the ship was gone. Perhaps I didn’t want to leave any survivors that could tell of the kill.

I cornered the cat and shot it dead with my finger gun. Its very solid spirit stuck around after I “killed” the cat. I asked the cat its name and she answered that the people on the ship had had a name for her but she couldn’t quite remember it. We worked on it for a few minutes. After some guessing we figured out that she’d been called “Gotcha” since that’s what the people on board had said when they’d managed to catch her.

I asked Gotcha if she wanted to come with me. She declined saying that her friends(here she looked at the ruins of the ship/house) might come back. That she might be needed. I got the very distinct impression that she thought of herself as a medic or doctor for the humans. She would aid them and care for them by being cute and cuddly...the stress relief and happiness giver. She said something about repeat customers and them coming back. I felt touched by this and asked her if she wanted to go with them. She seemed to smile and said, “Yes that may be for the best.” So I sent her off to be with the souls I’d killed. I don’t know if it was heaven or simply a holding place. I then slipped off into the night and promptly woke up.

I woke distinctly saddened and unhappy with my actions in the dream and felt a need, almost, to repent for what I’d done. Our cat was curled up against my legs under the covers. I felt I needed to apologize and be nice to her so that’s what I’ve been doing since I got up.

Side note: I hate Blogger's formatting. I really sucks.

Thoughts on Being Evil

2009-02-23T13:02:00.000-08:00

An open letter to my victi...er players,

As we discussed the other night... Now that you're moderately familiar with game play we as a group can take our games a step or two further. Using the same world we would be creating new characters at level six for an evil campaign that takes place around the same time as our original campaign. An evil campaign seems to be just the sort of thing this group would get a kick out of...especially you Rali. Not only are you able to bend or break the rules of society even more then before but you're able to do all of the whacky things only people of loose morals can do. Someone tick you off? Sure...stab him in the back. Wanna seduce your way up to the local lord and then kill him after learning all his secrets? Go right ahead sexy. Wanna turn a tavern full of drunk people into a raging mob and have them storm the local guard tower so you can slip in during the chaos to steal some top secret documents? Feel free...they're only mindless sheep anyway.

And since we're interested in doing that why not make it even more fun by having you create Gestalt characters? I've mentioned the idea before but you've probably forgotten. To reacquaint you with the idea go to d20srd.org, scroll down to the variant rules section and click on the "classes" link, then pan right and down to the small "Gestalt" section. Basically its two characters in one body that take the best of both classes.

Now i'll go over ideas for each of your characters based on what you've shown an interest in so far and on what I think you'd enjoy.

Widge: You took an interest in the Bard class...specifically the scary "Harbinger" alternate class. You want to demoralize your foes with scary music and emo poetry(with perhaps a bit of dancing thrown in as well) while still being able to fight decently and cast some cool spells.

Suggestion: A Death Touched (undead somewhere in your family tree which gives you nice charisma bonuses) Harbinger combined with a Hexblade (a fighter which curses his opponents in combat and has a very small spell selection). This gives you all of the class features for both. You get a d10 hit die instead of the Bard's d6 which means more hit points. You get better attack power, two relatively small spell lists, all simple and martial weapons, and good saves all around.

Rali: You want to put together your first character's resurrected one way love interest. Warlock was your initial interest.

Suggestion: A Human (since your druid is human) Fire Blooded (A template that turns your character into a charismatic leader type) Warlock/Paladin or Warlock/Cleric. He was a relatively good guy before his death and resurrection correct? My image of him is that of a courageous Paladin or Cleric. Then he died and was resurrected and turned evil correct? Going evil would completely change his Paladin or Cleric class and turn it evil. I also imagine the warlock would be added on by your evil god after his resurrection to give him additional power and mark him as that god's property. This gives you the Warlock's evil power feel in addition to the corrupted good guy look. You'd be a powerhouse and damage dealer and pretty scary to boot. Limited spell/power options but interesting and flavorful.

Daphne: You really like your charismatic rogue seductress so you would be the person changed the least.

Suggestion: A Changeling (someone who can morph their body to look like any race around your size) Fire Blooded (see Rali's character) Rogue/Beguiler or Swashbuckler/Beguiler. The Rogue you know. Beguiler is like a spellcasting rogue that deals mainly with illusions and enchantments. Bend people to your will or confuse the heck out of them. I suggest Swashbuckler since you seem to like that dashing type and because they have the "Seduction" class feature that I told you about a while back. You're moderately tough, can screw with people's minds, steal all you want, and be dead sexy at the same time.

All of these are suggestions. Feel free to comment on them or ask me questions. They are by no means set in stone. When we get together again we can work on it further. I just needed to let you know which direction I was leaning in for your characters.

Picturetastic

2009-01-13T17:12:00.000-08:00

These are only a few of my personal favorites. And since little sis gave us 175 in total I think i'll just stick to the ones that are actually good or funny.

Ok so that last one is neither good nor funny. Well ok a little funny but only because of Ande. Something about each picture I'm in here, aside from the group shot, makes me want to avoid pictures for all eternity. Or at least any time i'm forced into a kilt. Have I told you how evil you are Avi? No? You're evil. There...i've said it.

2008-12-29T12:23:00.000-08:00

MAN SKIRTS...

Late Reactions

2008-11-26T11:38:00.000-08:00

I'm twenty-four...

My god man!

I SAY old chap!

But seriously...holy crap!

Mathmatical Ramblings

2008-11-05T17:49:00.000-08:00

I'm bored. I'm in math and I'm bored...what a surprise. Anyone worth talking to is either busy or talking about the election. How boring. Its gray and raining outside...like it has been for several days. Boregon weather at its finest. I'm hungry, annoyed(mostly with myself), tired, and desperately wishing I had money. I know money doesn't make you truly happy but at this point it'd sure make a difference. For someone who's supposedly a history major in progress I sure don't spend much time enjoying history. Wasted time spent doing meaningless things that give me a brief smidgeon of happiness. And if I spend enough time wasting time I can ignore what I should actually be spending my time on.

Oops...whats the answer? 42?

A Humbling Experience

2008-09-02T10:02:00.000-07:00

I took a side trip out to Verdun during our week in Paris. For those of you who don't know the historical significance of Verdun I will give a brief summary. The city of Verdun and the surrounding countryside played host to the longest and bloodiest battle of the First World War. It is the text book definition of attrition warfare with the number of dead and injured easily topping one million over a nine month period. Nine outlying towns, with populations of up to one thousand residents, were wiped completely off the map. The rubble of some of these towns fought for, taken, and retaken up to sixteen times.

The picture above is what remains of the town of Fleury. The pockmarked landscape, a few bricks, paths marking the route of former streets, and small markers where homes, shops, and schools used to be are all that remain of the town. The landscape seems to be cloaked in perpetual silence. Walking the former town by myself was a humbling experience. Knowing that the ground I was walking on used to be a thriving French farming town. Knowing that it had been reduced to rubble and the earth churned over again and again by millions of shells...leaving it a desolate wasteland of death and mud. Knowing that every foot of this former town had literally been soaked in the blood of thousands of French and German troops. And even in the warmth of a French summer day I felt small and cold.

This feeling was repeated time and time again on my tour of the battlefield. The picture above is of The Trench of Bayonets. An entire company of French troops (that's roughly one hundred men) were huddled in their trench waiting to go over the top when a series of simultaneous explosions lifted the earth in front of them and buried them alive with their bayonets sticking out of the ground. A memorial was built over the trench and it wasn't until recently that they removed the bayonets.

This photo is of a sealed off portion of Fort Douaumont which the Germans took during the first days of the battle. The earthen fort, which was largely underground, was used as a rest stop for battered German units pulled back from the front and as a way point for fresh units to move through on their way to the front. A massive explosion in the lower levels, which caught an entire room full of stored flame throwers in its path, traveled upwards into a series of underground galleries where German wounded lay, killing nine hundred men. The survivors sealed off these galleries and turned them into mass tombs for their comrades.

Even after seeing these places and learning what went on there it is difficult to fully comprehend what really happened. The reality of it is so far removed from anything we know today that it is almost impossible to understand it beyond an intellectual level. One can only be shown what remains and be given the facts. And yet even with this minuscule amount of information I am still left humbled by the horror of it all.

Mission "Honeymoon": Success

2008-08-07T13:34:00.000-07:00

All I had to do was say I had a nail file in my back pocket and look what I got.

Lazy Sundays

2008-06-22T12:16:00.001-07:00

Well Daphne posted this morning and since, like her, i've got the time to waste I suppose i'll post as well. We're out in Central Oregon this weekend with our friend Washu from Wally World. Her family has a nice getaway out here and we're enjoying the get away. Its just past noon and Daphne and I are still in PJs. The third member of our little party is probably still in bed so we're kinda stuck sitting around until she rises. I'm not really complaining...frankly i'm used this sort of thing when dealing with Washu...but it does get a little boring. Luckily we all have laptops and wi-fi. Daphne is starting up her second tea pot this morning with some stuff she just dug out of hiding in one of the pantries. We're listening to Katy Perry's Your So Gay. Since its Daphne's birthday she got to choose the music. Its good stuff but we're listening to the entire CD all the way through so its getting a little tiring.

And I just realized i'm wandering. Oh well...its not like there's anything else to do. :P

In Response...

2008-06-09T12:21:00.000-07:00

After Avi's little post can you honestly say this doesn't seem at least slightly accurate?

Knock on Wood

2008-05-06T20:27:00.000-07:00

I'm doing it again. I'm writing and erasing and writing and erasing and writing some more. Nothing I put to words seems to be able to convey what I feel like right now. This is beginning to look almost regular. I get a couple months, maybe half a year, where everything is just fine and dandy.

Then life kicks me out the window to see if I can fly.

And they just keep getting worse too. A break up. School problems. Another break up. Work problems. Car problems. Parents kicking me out and taking my stuff. Each time the severity of the situation goes up a notch or two and I keep wondering how things could get worse. At this point I should just swear off asking that question. Life, it seems, takes questions like that as a challenge. At this point the next step up has got to be a death or something equally severe. But at this point i'm still in the 'this CAN'T be real' phase. I keep wishing this was a dream but thats never helped before so i've just kinda settled myself into my fall back mood...deep melancholy.

Perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Knock on wood.

Swamped...

2008-04-02T19:37:00.000-07:00

I'm not even done with the first week of the new quater and i'm already swamped. Well not really but I am rather intimidated by the pile of books i've had to purchase. Twelve books in total and only one of them ISN'T a history book. And this is only from three classes! Plus I have to continue reading for a class I took an incomplete on two quarters ago. So in effect I have fifteen books to read this quarter. Oh the classes shouldn't be too bad on their own but the reading...oi!

Oh and for those of you who don't get the joke thats a Swamp land from the Magic the Gathering card game. I thought it only appropriate as this whole post was about being swamped...oh never mind.

Political Quiz

2008-03-18T23:32:00.000-07:00

The worlds smallest political quiz.

http://www.theadvocates.org/quiz.html

Take it and see where you stand.

Crunch Time Again

2008-02-19T22:46:00.000-08:00

Its come down to that time yet again. Its crunch time at school and i'm hating it already. German is giving me the hard time this quarter. Maybe i'm not cut out for language or maybe i'm just being dodgy about hard classes. Whatever the case i'm having a hard time. I refuse to fail a class at this point though. Ugh... I know i'm disappointing not only myself but Daphne as well with this lack luster performance. The way i'm acting its like my getting somewhere in life doesn't matter to me and even LOOKING like i'm that way is not something I would want cropping up in a serious relationship. I honestly don't know why Daphne puts up with me but there must be something in me she likes...otherwise she'd be long gone. And i'm profoundly grateful she's decided to stay.

Uh huh...No I'm Listening...

2008-02-04T19:45:00.000-08:00

Is it so hard to listen attentively to someone? Or even LOOK like you're listening attentively? I try to listen to anyone who's speaking to me. I make an effort to listen and act and look like I am. But it seems like I don't deserve the same respect in return. A good chunk of the people I talk to each day seem to loose interest if I talk for more than five seconds. Even my friends have this disturbing tendancy. Even the Fiance does this on occasion. Now I know no one is perfect and that some topics just don't catch your interest. Some people's idea of "paying attention" also differ radically from my own. And some people can really talk...alot. Still...make an effort people. It's the polite thing to do and if you're doing it to me I can assure you that my mental scoreboard will be docking points. And if you do it enough I WILL let you know it.

Thoughts on a New Year...

2008-01-06T19:07:00.000-08:00

Well i'm a few days late for a New Years post but oh well. 2008 is looking like it's gonna be one hell of a year. School, Marriage, Travel, Moving, Elections, and a half dozen more to boot.

I'm sitting here back in my dorm room downtown getting ready for another quarter. I'm determined that this will be a better, more productive, quarter then the last one was. I'm serious about making this work. I've left my desktop computer at home because it causes too much distraction. I also ditched my CD collection and some novels but kept the DVDs for some reason. I've even got someone to help keep me on track; hopefully I won't need his help too much. I'm currently signed up for 16 credits but that may change in the next couple days. I'm gonna have a full plate this quarter and i'm dead set on making it work.

Marriage, as you know, is coming ever closer. Seven months now and i'm beginning to feel the preasure...and thats with Daphne gone! We've got half a dozen things that need doing soon; Ring adjustment, Couples counciling, Engagement photos, etc. I've left too much of the planning and organization to Daphne till now. I know she loves planning and all but i've not been as involved as I should be so with the new year i've decided to pull my weight. About time too. Travel and Moving really fall under the Marraige umbrella so i'll just add them to the 'to do before July' list.

I've begun thinking about what i'll be selling/giving/throwing away before the two of us move into our first home. I've caught myself looking at something and wondering where the hell i'd put something like that in our home. Stuff that is perfectly fine for an unmarried post-teen guy that doesn't need to worry about a spouse's thoughts on room and looks seems to be popping up everywhere I look. It's weird to see some of the things i've treasured for so long suddenly looking much less desireable in the light of marriage. Some of it i'll keep. Some will be put away for another generation of kids, like my lego collection. And a good chunk of stuff, most of which my parents confiscated months ago, is going to only be seen once more before it departs forever for parts unknown.

One more thing seems to be hanging over our heads now with the new year...Elections, and the media frenzy that comes with them, are upon us. I'm only barely paying attention to things and it already feels overwhelming. Of course that may be beacuse I watched alot of television over break but even so it feels more and more like it's impossible to escape the hype. I'll be glad when this initial stage is over and the main contestants have been decided. And no matter who gets the job in the end they'll have to be better then what we've had for the last 8 years. Or at least I hope they will be.

2007 wasn't a wonderful year. It had its moments but overall it wasn't worth much. This year is looking SO much better.

What to do?

2007-12-27T13:23:00.000-08:00

What does one do when stuck at a beach house in SoCal in perfect weather? When the waves are just the right size and there's not a cloud in the sky? When the temperature is hovering around 70 with a pleasant breeze and nary a person on the beach?

I'll tell you what you don't do. You don't just sit around reading and blogging and trying to keep from strangling your much younger cousins while your only slightly younger cousin is out on the beach talking dirty to one of a string of girls you've seen him with. You certainly don't wile away the hours walking the beach and wondering how long it would take you to rewarm yourself if you actually got up the nerve to jump into the water. And you most certainly don't look at highly expensive, and taxed, items that you could buy elsewhere much cheaper but kinda want now despite the expense whenever you do manage to be dragged away from the idyllic life at the beach.

No such pasttimes are left to the socially innept who are too iditotic to get out and enjoy life.

Thank God I don't know anyone like that!

The Picture Says it All...

2007-11-08T16:40:00.000-08:00

-Insert whitty comment here-

The Times They be a Changin...

2007-09-13T10:37:00.000-07:00

I'm waving goodbye to alot of things lately. I put in my two week notice at work the other day. I won't be going back to my community college for classes. And i'm moving out of the house...at least during the week. All because i've been accepted at Portland State University. Its a big step up for me since I haven't been to a proper college since freshman year and I haven't lived out of the house since then either. It's all in the name of progress, education, pleasing the soon to be father in law, and, most importantly, pleasing the soon to be wife. Her father has a stipulation that we can't get married until we've lived on our own for six months to a year. Neither of us think he's incredibly serious about it but we're taking it pretty seriously, thus my move. Anyway... my parents and I are rushing about finishing the last minute details before the move which should be done before the group formerly known as Smkrs arrives in Seattle. Fun stuff...

The Answer...

2007-08-26T00:59:00.000-07:00

This is why.

Rali. You are, in fact, on fire.

That is why the ninjas fail.

And now you know...and knowing is half the battle.

And the Nation's IQ Slips a Little More...

2007-07-11T15:05:00.000-07:00

I've seen an increase in pro-war and pro-bush bumper stickers in my parking lot over the past month or so. They range from the classic "If you can't stand behind our troops stand in front of them." to the one that set me back on my heels yesterday. "Visualize world peace through military superiority." By itself it was nasty enough, but combined with the four or five other Conservative Militaristic Right stickers it was like a punch to the gut. Apparently, in these people's minds at least, we have to blast the crap out of the rest of the world to achieve world peace. And after that comes democracy and christianity for all...and if you don't like it we'll drive a cruisemissile up your ass. This is what happens when religion, government, radical conservatisim, and undereducated dolts come together in America.

The Simple Answer...

2007-06-14T00:07:00.000-07:00

Forget making the world "safe for democracy" and "terrorist free". Forget your petty squables and religious differences. Forget the money and the power. The world would do well to wake up each and every day to this single statement...

"If we cannot end now our differences, at least we can make the world safe for diversity. For, in the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children's future. And we are all mortal."
-JFK

No matter where you go, who your leader is, or what religion you pretend to follow or not follow, this is one thing we should all be able to agree on.

Parents: 2 - Vala: 0

2007-06-01T23:54:00.000-07:00

I fail, they take. I pay out the ass, I get nothing. They demand perfection yet would give nothing if I achieved it. Reason does not move them and my word is as worthless as a fart in a hurricane to them. Their faith in me is shattered. I want to scream at the injustice of it all but I know I'd only be told that I was acting childishly silly and that I should be quiet and live with it. And in a sense it's true. These things matter so little when you consider what other people have to deal with...what the world has to deal with...but I am who I am and this is my life and this matters to me. Damn the score!

Product may contain strong emotions. Large amounts of salt are advised when reading this product.

A Serious Blurb About Not Being Serious...

2007-05-17T12:27:00.000-07:00

I wonder how long it would take people to react if I posted something disturbingly out there or blatantly offensive here? Maybe it's just the mood i'm in or maybe it's the recent push to "grow up" (i'm looking at you newlyweds) that's causing this but I've begun to feel like continuing this blog is a pointless waste of time. Time that could be better spent partaking in other past times that are pointless wastes of time. It's like everything I enjoy, all my games, stories, friends, etc, have suddenly lost every ounce of pleasure I used to find in them. Pleasure that is being stomped out under the vicious steel-toed boots of life, work, and time. Part of me is saying "It's the natural progression of things. You're 22, you have a woman to marry, school to finish, and a new chapter of life to live. So get on with it."

Then there's another part of me that says "Dammit I'm not done being a kid yet! Don't give me more responsibility! I don't want it! I DON'T WANNA GROW UP!!!"

You know how young kids pretend to be older and more "grown up" then they are? I think I took that too far. I was always the one that sat inside during the lunch hour. I was the one that didn't like team sports. I was the one that all the adults felt was the most responsible of my peer group. Granted part of that is because of my naturally mellow, melancholy nature and part of it is the way my parents brought me up. I played by myself for the most part during my early years, with the exception being one friend that eventually betrayed me in favor of the "cooler" crowd. Even once I found good friends, the three stooges that I'll call the "H" brothers, I only really played on the weekend since none of them went to the same school as me, or were even in the same grade. So my real play time got cut down and condensed to one or maybe two days a week, if I was lucky.

Then I moved here. Everything here seemed so quiet and uptight compared to the casual friendly atmosphere of Hawaii. My grown up face got more and more use. I didn't partake in most of the early and mid teen rowdiness. I stayed off to the side and didn't embarrass myself like the rest of the guys. When I did make good friends here they ended up being girls for the most part. This, of course, meant acting differently then I would with guy friends(for the most part) and learning to have a new kind of fun.

But then, during Freshman year of college, I found my first mainland guy group. It was all guys pretty much all the time. And the best part about it was I got to see and interact with them almost every day. We played games and did guy things and I felt connected like I had with the "H"s but in a much more tightly knit way. I didn't return to the same school second year and I had to leave them behind. Then I found a third group, my current group, at my new school. This group was bigger and more diverse then either of my previous groups. I saw them almost daily and really let my "guy" get some much needed time. But by then I was actually expected to act grown up. I was expected to be an adult and suddenly all that time acting it came back and bit me in the ass. They thought I was already there, that I was mature and ready to move on. When in actuality I was just hitting my stride with my inner kid.

As proof that this bugs me more then I'll probably admit I present my two most common reoccurring dreams. Both deal with returning to my previous group of friends, the "H" brothers and my Freshman year group. Each time I go back as I am now. I see the changes that have taken place in my absence and try to pick up where I left off with my friends. The only problem is that they've gone and moved on without me. They've grown up and I haven't. This actually happened when I last went back to Hawaii. I looked up the "H"s and found that none of them did any of our old things any more. It was a real blow to me. It was proof that you can never return to what you left since what you left will never be the same.

Now look at what i've done. I've gone and spilled my guts, probably forgetting half of what I wanted to say and probably twisting the rest beyond what it used to mean. I should be responsible now and go fill out another job application. I don't want to though. I've been doing that all morning and after what i've just written I don't think i'm in the mood for much of anything. Yeah it's a pity rant. A poor me blurb that finally blew its way out from under my "grown up" top. I doubt this will be reassuring to Ande in any way. I've kept her hanging for five years and it looks like it'll be at least another year before we tie the knot. I know she hates it and I know I hate it too. I just hope she'll understand that her future husband may, at times, disappear to be a kid again.

Better Late Then Never...

2007-04-22T10:21:00.000-07:00

I managed to stumble back to my blog somehow without my bookmark link to guide me. (I hardly ever memorize links anymore) What with the loss of my computer I've effectively been cut off from most of my normal internet haunts. But through the judicious use of guessing and half attempts I found my way back to blogger. So without further ado I will launch into my report on Sakura-con 2007! (Yes I can hear your hissing Ande)

Washu and I set out late thursday night, pretty much directly from work, to get up to Seattle early so we could jump in line to get our passes and see the opening of the doors. Compared to Kumori-con Sakura-con was a well oiled machine. Most things started on time, lines formed neatly, and there was plenty of room to spread out. I fear i'll never look at Kumori-con with the same fondness I once did. Anyway, Washu got decked out in her cosplay and we had a grand old time. As it always is the main attraction seemed to be the Exibitors hall with its rows of booths selling every type of anime or manga related item I could think of. Between events Washu's favorite activity was wandering back and forth through the different dealers looking for good deals. I spent less time there, knowing the more time spent there the higher the chance of me spending more money was. So I allowed myself to gravitate towards the game rooms and the AMV room, which happened to be across from each other. And with such a diverse crowd Washu and I couldn't help but just stop and people-watch for a while and with her unique costume my friend ended up attracting alot of attention herself. I ended up having to hold her stuff more often then I could count over the weekend as nerds of both sexes pulled her aside to get a picture.

One of the highlights of the weekend for me was the Q&A forum by Fred Gallagher, the creator of Megatokyo, and the subsequent autrograph signing. My first edition copy of Megatokyo #1 has now been touched and signed by the man himself. Washu hit her high with the Q&A forum for Red vs Blue and the follow up signing by two of the character voices, one of which was the voice of her favorite character, Church.

All together it was a great Con. Granted I took no pictures this time, something I regret terribly now, but the memories will live on vividly. I'd like to thank Avi and her family yet again for allowing the two of us to crash at their place for a night. It was a Godsend after the previous night's long drive and subsequent "street-nap". I look forward to my next visit to Sakura-con. When that will be I have no clue but I hope it's soon.

Random Encounter...

2007-01-28T13:38:00.000-08:00

The place is pitch black. You fear that any light might wake something you don't want to meet on a night like tonight, so you hold off. It gets colder as you decend the steps...further and further into the pit of blackness. You turn a corner and suddenly the ground underneath you changes. It goes from warm and soft to hard and cold in an instant. You freeze at the sudden change. You know you've reached your objective now. You take the last few steps slowly...cautiously... A sound off to the right startles you. You go still, ears working overtime to identify the sound. And then you hear it. The sound of claws scraping against the cold hard ground. Your eyes go wide and your body tenses. It's getting closer! You know you only have a few seconds before the beast is upon you. Its now or never. Your hand darts out, grabbing the door handle you know is there. You can hear the deep throaty rumble of the beast now. You yank hard. The door opens and light spills out from the area beyond. And then something slides past your leg. The hair on your arms and neck stands upright in fright. You whip around and step out of the small pool of light that spills out of the door...and there before is the beast...
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IT'S A RANDOM ENCOUNTER IN THE KITCHEN AT 3am!

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Legendary Demotivation...

2007-01-15T10:39:00.000-08:00

Above is an example of a delightful new pasttime I have recently discovered via the weird and wonderful venue that is 4chan. It's called Demotivational Creation and its a blast. When I first began wandering the site I found many of these self made posters that struck my fancy, the above being one them, and I was amazed that they were so well made. They were, in fact, exactly like the real thing. I began to wonder how people made these. Finally my chance came to learn how.

I discovered a thread dedicated to these posters and began reading and refreshing. It wasn't a long thread at the time, maybe 20 pictures long, but it was continually growing...at an alarming rate. Wanting to get into the action I asked the question. "How do you make these?" I got lots of "Where you been Noob?" responses but one person was nice enough to answer with a link...http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/motivator.php I jumped right in and began creating and posting my own. But then work struck and I had to leave it be.

Imagine my surprise when I returned to find the number of pictures on this particular thread had jumped to over 400! People had already begun calling it a legendary thread. I did too after someone made the comment that there were enough of these that you could make a calender out of them and still have a ton left over. The legend would not live on however. Something happened, i'm not sure what, and the thread vanished...completely! People began screaming about it in various new threads and tried to restart the monster but the spark had died. Yet it still lives on in me and I share it with you now. Go forth and create a poster or two. I know you're creative enough and have enough weird pictures on your computers that you could make some pretty good ones. Have fun...and if you like them enough they'll even print them out for you in poster size for a small fee.

Spiritual Thought Food...

2006-12-14T15:25:00.000-08:00

"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare...There are no ORDINARY people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit--immortal horrors or everlasting splendours."

--C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

Thankful Contemplations...

2006-11-23T09:19:00.000-08:00

Waking up to an empty house and heavy skys on Thanksgiving Day certainly doesn't put one in the mood for thanksgiving. In fact the only indication that this day is different than any other day is the size of the morning paper and the lack of any serious traffic on the roads. I've fed the animals(Daphne's and my own), fed myself(another of Daphne's pets ^_^), taken a look at some of the ads for tomorrows homage to capitalism, and its only just past 9am. Catching a flick at the theater is the only activity I have planned for the day. So with all this free time on my hands i've decided to say a few thanks...and i'm sorry if this starts reading like an oscar acceptance speech.

Thank you Daphne for your constant love, friendship, and support these past years. You have and will continue to be my greatest source of happiness and support outside of my core family. Thank you Mom and Dad for your constant love and support these past 22 years. Without you I would be neither here nor there. You have been the rock I cling to...even when I question the rock's stability and good intentions. Thank you Washu for your undying friendship these past years. Days spent playing games, watching movies, or discovering asian treasures are some of my favorite memories here in Oregon. Thank you Smkrs for letting me in to share with you. But more importantly thank you for the love, friendship, and support you've provided Daphne. You are among the rarest breed of friends and she treasures you like nothing else...

And the list goes on and on. I will not bore you with the rest but one final entry must be written...

Thank you God for the wonders, glories, highs, and lows you have seen fit to provide me. They are beyond count. I could spend the rest of my life thanking you for the last 22 years and still not do you justice. Words provide so little in the face of all that you have given me yet here they are... Thank you.

We Will Remember...

2006-11-11T09:24:00.000-08:00

Lost: One Ring of Power

2006-10-26T22:59:00.000-07:00

I've found the answer!
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I know why we're having so much trouble politically!
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Frodo Failed! See...Golum has it! Thats why!!!

Sauron's turning over in his grave. I just know it.

Invictus...

2006-10-23T09:25:00.000-07:00

“Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.”

-William Ernest Henley

I Survived Kumoricon '06...

2006-09-05T10:36:00.000-07:00

I don't know how long i'll have this massive Anime Overdose in my system but I will say this...it was worth it. Kumoricon is Portland's Annual Anime Convention; 3 fun filled days of cosplay, games, contests, pocky, more pocky, overpriced stuff, dancing, and general geekiness. Over 4000 people decended on the site in everything from giant Gir heads (yes I got several pictures of that Daphne) to skimpy Sailor Moon leotards and guys in gothic lolita maid costumes. And yes that last one has scarred me for life. ;P There is too much to tell about the experience that i'm not even gonna try until its mostly out of my system. Even now, a full day and a good night sleep later, I can still feel the excitement; The crowd around me, the cosplayers (good and bad) posing for pictures, etc etc. I will attempt a longer post, with pictures hopefully, at a later date but for right now I'll leave you with the feeling of togetherness I still feel in the back of my mind. The fact that you could walk up to just about any complete stranger and start a passionate conversation about something you both love. Knowing that to be possible, simply looking around and seeing it happening all around you...that is a heady feeling.

Vacation is Soooo Hard...

2006-08-06T21:45:00.000-07:00

It's true. Vacations are just down right hard on you. Especially week long trips to sunny central Oregon and beautiful Sunriver. Oh yes it was a strain. Laying around on decks reading books for hours on end. Riding bikes, eating ice cream, swimming, watching cable, floating down the river on a boat. All of this whenever I felt like it. I tell you now it was pure torture. ;P Oh there were good parts, don't worry. Getting stuck babysiting three hyperactive cousins was great fun. Doing it repeatedly was even better. Trying to cater to twelve people's wants and interests was also pretty cool too. The bug bites were a kick as well. I'm pretty fond of the bite on my forehead that makes it look like i'm growing a horn over my left eye. Unfortunately for me the bad times outnumbered the good. It was pure luck that I had a work shift back home half way through the week that I couldn't get rid of. So I had the pleasure of driving three hours back home so I could work six hours then drive back in the morning. I don't know if I would have survived without that break. Sigh. But I managed to get home in one piece. Now i've got cousins sleeping in a tent in the back yard and every available spot in the house taken by a warm body or a piece of luggage. Good old home. Wouldn't trade it for the world.
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wait...that doesn't look right.

The Post Vegas Post...

2006-07-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

Even now i'm still not sure if what I drank there has completely left my system. My first time getting drunk and it had to be in Vegas.

The trip was pretty good. Early delays at the airport caused us to get onto the strip later then expected but once we'd settled down It was pretty much non stop from there. Had a great birthday dinner for Washu at the Rainforest Cafe in the MGM then played some slots back at the Luxor. Next day we started off with a dip in the pool, eating, and taking a poker lesson. Washu and I managed to come away with more then we went in with. Daphne, on the other hand, ended up borrowing from us and still loosing. I'll take a quote from Capt Jack and twist it a bit when next we play. "Hide the chips." After that we set off up the strip to see the sights and search out the elusive half off show tickets. The girls were determined to see one but, in the end, we never saw one. So instead we went back to our room and made a drinking game out of a card game i'd introduced the girls to called Three Dragon Ante. Really fun but kinda difficult to draw out if the winner of each round HAS to take a shot. Needless to say none of us went to bed that night anywhere close to sober. Well, I was the closest but even I felt bad the next morning so... Our last day was spent playing games in a massive underground arcade and then shuffling off to the airport where, I am sorry to say, the magic ended prematurely when the girls got into a fight over a card game. Washu split for her flight shortly afterward. I'm sure it left a bad taste in everyone's mouth that had nothing to do with the stuff we'd had the night before.

Over all it was a fun trip and a good introduction to Vegas for the two who hadn't been before. (Daphne and I) I'm sure i'll probably return at some point in the future. Just don't know when. Certainly not any time soon.

Off to Vegas...

2006-07-18T16:16:00.000-07:00

The girls and I (that being Daphne and Washu) are headed off to Las Vegas tomorrow for two nights of shows, gambling, eating, pools, gambling, a bit of drinking, and...of course...gambling. Hmm. Can't tell whats on my mind can you? This will be my first time in the City of Sin and I do hope it lives up to all the stories i've heard. Course some of that comes from seeing bits of CSI: Vegas...not exactly the best motivator for fun. So while we're down there cooking (112 degrees last I checked) just keep us in mind and send us all your good luck! I'll write up about it when I come back, with my wallet slightly more full I hope.

Pirates 1, Ninjas 0

2006-07-07T11:06:00.000-07:00

Oh bugger. Here I went rooting for the ninjas, complete with ninja headband and martial arts practice in the parking lot while I waited, but the pirates managed to yank the carpet out from under the ninjas and take em by storm. PotC: Dead Man's Chest is a wonderful addition to the origional. I went in thinking it was just going to be a sequal, not the second movie in a trilogy. So by the time the two hour mark rolls up i'm beginning to wonder just how long this is planning to go. Then of course they pull a couple of annoyingly interesting cliffhangers (especially the last one) that left me with no doubt of a third. Its got great action, weird plot twists, comedy (oh there's lots of that to be sure), and a bunch of good ol Jack Sparrow action...Captain Jack Sparrow that is...Savy? It pulls alot of jokes from the first movie and makes lots of whole new jokes that only a fan of the first might get. Course the comedy was helped by the fact that we were in a completely packed theater that was about half filled with badly dressed pirate wannabes. You should have seen the girl a couple seats down from us. *shudder* Anyway...I won't go into specifics about it. Just know that it's a must see if you even just kinda enjoyed the first one. But beware the butt cramps, their like have not been seen since LotR.

A Desire to Return...

2006-06-24T15:28:00.000-07:00

For the Smkrs it's Newbold that holds the cherished memories. For me it's PUC. Despite my poor grades, roommate troubles, and general problems during that first year at college I cannot help but love it. I miss it. It was simple there. You worked, lived, and studied there. There was no need to leave the hill; No great desire to run away to the city or flee to the nearest mall. If the chance came then you sometimes went, otherwise it wasn't something that you needed. It was a true blue community where you spent Saturday sleeping in, going to church, eating with friends, then relaxing with friends.

I can't even count the number of times my dreams have turned their attention back to my freshmen year or the thought of returning there. I made some great friends there, some great memories. Laughing at the antics of the local dorm delinquents when the dead deer they'd stuffed in the neighboring guys dorm was found. Running to classes through a beautiful campus full of life and friendship. Working in the Cafe every other night and standing idly talking to the register operators. Making one of the closest circles of friends since the Harris brothers in Hawaii. Dorming with some of the weirdest guys on the planet and still managing to come out sane.

The pictures, the faces, the places. All so clear and vibrant. So strong that wistful tears can come unbidden to the eyes if they're dwelt on too long. Yet, so much like my desire to return to Hawaii, I know I shall never be able to return to PUC and love it as I did...enjoy it as I did. It will be left to memory and time till only a smile remains.

It's Summer, I'm Bored, This is a Good Thing...

2006-06-16T18:42:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here on a bed, with a laptop beside me and a beautiful view of Gresham out the window, wondering what all i'll do this summer. An extremely pretty red head just waltzed into the room and is busy rooting around in her backpack for some little thing. She just tried to use a flint and steel over the bed, not a great sign of higher brain functions if you ask me. But then i've done things just as odd and out of place.

I don't know what to say. Its a lazy day here in "sunny" old Oregon and i'm seriously wondering if my complacency is due to the fact that i'm done with school for a couple months or because i've simply got nothing to think about. It's weird. It's like i'm relaxed in a way yet not. I know there's nothing immediate to worry about, beyond keeping the red head from burning down the house, but I know I should be worrying about future concerns. I don't want to though. Its a good day. I don't want to worry. So I don't think I will. I'll let you other people worry for me. Cheers!

The X-treme Team Strikes Again!...

2006-05-27T11:52:00.000-07:00

Ha! Now i've got something to talk about! X3 is out and in true nerdy fashion I went and saw it on the first day. I could have been a true nerd and gone to see it at midnight...but I didn't think of that. I just suffered a -2 to my nerd check. (ehem) I highly recommend it. Seeing the first two movies is a must, otherwise you won't get alot of the stuff unless you're a marvel freak geek.

(If you haven't seen the movie I don't suggest reading more. Major Spoilers incoming!!!)

The movie itself was great. Considering how much storyline they had to deal with from all the X-men stories and spinoffs I think they did a great job of mashing it down and making it into something that could be followed by the people who only saw the last two movies while still being relatively interesting for those of us who know a bit more about it then we should. I liked that they got rid of Cyclops early on. Granted he would have been a great asset in the final battle. I also like the fact that Mystic(sp) lost her mutant abilities before the battle. She was cool and all but she was a real witch(-w+b). I liked how she immediately went to spill her guts to the government. I liked the inclusion of Kitty Pride, AKA Shadowcat, and the use of the Fastball Special not once but twice. I liked Angel's little bit in the story including his father's rescue at the end. And then of course there was the Phoenix and the Professor. They did a great job of working Phoenix into the story and making her dual personality and troubled nature believeable. The Professor's death at her hands was hard to take but then, knowing the Marvel universe, no one really ever dies or looses their powers, they always come back some how. Magneto will get his powers back, Xavier will return, and everything will go back to square one in a way. There's alot more I could say but I think i'll stop there. Don't want to make myself look too nerdy. Gotta fit in at least a bit.

Let's See, What Next?...

2006-05-23T14:12:00.000-07:00

Ok, (brushes himself off after the Halo3 thing), now that that's done...It's time to drool over something else. Ehehehe...but really folks. I'd love to drool over X3 but since its not out yet i'll hold back the urge and wait till i've seen it. Over the Hedge has already been done and its not really drool worthy material; good but not drool good.

So what else is there?

Hmm...

I could always rant about all the wonderful fanfiction i've been reading recently. But no...thats been done too. (If you can't tell i'm having a hard time here)

Ahh...here we go. I've been laughing up a storm because of this. Whenever someone starts talking about a Role Playing Game(RPG) lately my mind has always linked the conversation with this
http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html
If you know anything about Final Fantasy, Zelda, etc...and have actually played them, then you'll probably find this funny as hell. Its really amazing that people have actually spent the time to put something like this together. Worth a look.

I Have Reached Nirvana...

2006-05-11T12:28:00.000-07:00

... and its name is Halo 3.

At the Heart of an Evil Empire...

2006-05-03T12:31:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to post this up since spring break but I haven't gotten the chance to nab the picture from my dad's computer till now. No its not an illusion. I actually am in a Starbucks, holding a Starbucks cup, and not gagging. For those of you who know me you know very well that I find most coffee disgusting. I said most cause Daphne would belt me upside the head for not saying that I actually enjoy some coffee flavored chocolates. Anyway, I normally wouldn't set foot in one of these places but, over spring break, I had to make an exception. I did this for one reason and one reason only. I found the evil empire's core, the center of its being, its very birthplace. It just so happens to be situated in an out of the way area of Pike's Market in Seattle. We had heard rumor of its location on a tour and, as I was traveling with my dad, we had to go looking for it. My eyes did narrow and my face did frown when I spotted it. My dad, ever the tourist, had to go in and get a drink. Not coffee mind you, only applecider, but it came in a coffee cup and that was close enough. And faster then I could say "Death to Coffee" he had me holding his cup in front of the origional sign(notice the girl's got tits in the origional) and snapping a picture, to my everlasting shame. Too bad I didn't have the time to snear. I think it would have added the perfect touch to the moment.

The Ultimate Showdown...

2006-04-29T14:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, if you haven't seen this--> http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/showdown then you are truely missing out on one of the internet's wonders. Oh i'm sure you've seen things like "Badgers" and "End of the World" before, but this...this is truely a work of art. Not only is there superb artwork *snicker* but there's the fact that these guys came up with the song on their own. I've practically memorized the thing myself and let me tell you, there are some good tongue twisters in there. The sheer amount of time, rhymeing, knowledge of cheezy characters, and mind altering drugs(i'm guessing on the last one) is insane. Give it a look. I doubt you'll come away from it not humming the tune or finding that you've got one of the lines stuck in your head.

Kender Adventures...

2006-04-19T19:16:00.000-07:00

I recovered a lost part of my childhood this past week; and in a place I wouldn't have ever thought to look. Backwoods adventures were a forgotten joy long lost when I left Hawaii. But surprise! I found them again...in the backwoods of my college's campus, in what my friends call Kender Adventures.

For those of you unfamiliar with dnd style fantasy settings a Kender is much like a hobbit from Lord of the Rings. They are about half a normal human's height but unlike hobbits and their kin these little fellas never really seem to grow up. Even the oldest and most learned of these halflings are as rambunctious(sp?) as children. They also have a disturbing tendancy of "finding" shiny things, much like a raven or small rodent. It doesn't matter if these things are on the ground or in your pocket, they'll somehow make their way into their pockets and you'll be left wondering where your watchbob or penny purse went. They don't always mean it either, sometimes their hands just kinda nab things.

Thus, a group of us have taken to exploring the forests and creekbeds of the college between classes and often coming home with the most surprising things to show off. It's gotten so popular with our group that we've taken to...gasp! LARPing!?! Ah yes, the dreaded LARP group. I am happy to announce that I have been named the parties Ranger due to my previous experience and they have even given me a name, Otter, for my rather graceful dip in a creek the other day. It wasn't something I meant to do and my pants, shoes, and socks ended up totally soaked. The spot is now called Otter's Dip in honor of yours truely. We shadow nature classes for fun and have created our own little hideout next to Otter's Dip. Surprisingly I am the oldest in the group, the majority of them being around 19.

I feel like i've regained a bit more "kid". *Eye twinkle*

This...is a Problem...

2006-04-09T20:26:00.000-07:00

Does this mean God is a Socialist?

I didn't think they liked coffee...

I'm so confused.

Breaking for Spring

2006-03-26T11:41:00.001-08:00

Finals are a memory, tests are a dream, and grades are a reality. Math went a little worse then expected but everything else went extremely well. As a reward for finishing the quarter I rewarded myself with a few new set booster boxes for the game I play. The newest expansion came out on friday and my buddy and I danced a happy jig when we opened our boxes. On top of that the rest of my family took off for the weekend and left me home alone. I would have gone too but I had work on last night. Then, just this morning, I got a call from work asking if I could come in and cashier for a couple hours. Officially I have six days off starting today but since I won't be going anywhere for a day or so I told em I could pop by for an hour or four. I'm also taking care of a couple of pets whose masters decided to up and leave them for a week in Turkey. Oh well, it earns me money and thanks, and both are always welcome.

Next quarter's shaping up to be rather interesting. I'm currently listed at 13 credit hours but we'll see what the parents think when they get back. I'll also be re-ordering my work hours to follow suit. I've got the ever present TKD again. Added to that are Intro to Fiction Writing, Intro to Mythology, General Phychology, and Elementry Logic. Sounds like a headache but i'm interested to see how it will all pan out, that is if my parents ok it since they're paying for it again...finally.

Don't Panic...

2006-03-19T10:17:00.000-08:00

I've taken that wonderful phrase from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy to heart. I refuse to panic this year for finals. I will not run around like a chicken with its head cut off because i'm not ready for math. I won't be a worry wart because i've got to review six chapters of political science. And I certainly won't be pulling my hair out and screaming bloody murder because history facts are mixing themselves up in my head. I've already gotten through my TKD final without a fuss. Didn't panic for that. I won't let these others get to me either.

Nope, not gonna panic at all...

not at all...

nothin to see here folks...

this college student is just fine...

no stress here...

ok... well maybe a little. ^_-

Goodluck to all you fellow panic ridden students. You're not alone.

Bittersweet Dreams

2006-03-04T09:56:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning with a little ache in my heart this morning. I got caught up in one of those very special sort of dreams. The kind you wake up from and dearly wish you could go back and finish. Its the kind that leaves me hurting a bit because the story is so moving, the characters so real and heartfelt that I can't help but love them. And it was, at least for a dream, a very well sequenced and believeable story.
I started off as a young man, say 18. My good friends, who seem to be almost like my adopted family since I apparently didn't have any, have kids that range from my age down to seven. The oldest being a boy of my age, then another boy of about 9, and a young girl (who i took a liking to in that "older brother but not related" sort of way.) that was about 7. Anyway, earth goes to war with itself or someone else and the older boy and myself are forced into military service while the younger ones are sent away to help colonize another world. Years later, after the war and everything, the two of us go in search of the younger kids. We find them but, shockingly, they don't remember us. We were hoping for a tearful reunion but instead have to settle for introductions. Heck, they don't even see the similarities in their older brother or recognize the names. Anyway, the youngest boy is now busy helping start a large vineyard. The girl on the other hand is now a beautiful young lady, the kind people usually term heartbreakers I think. Anyway, I begin to get to know her again while at the same time I try to subtly jog her memory. There are flashes of time where I go back in time to moments we shared together and then i'm back in the present and I try to use those flashes to stir a memory. I even manage to return from one of these flashes with a scarf she gave me on a cold day. Then, when I feel like i'm finally making a little bit of progress on her I wake up and cannot for the life of me return to the dream. I sat there in bed for the longest time just thinking about it. I know portions have faded away. It was even more interesting, that I know. For some reason those sorts of stories hit me kinda hard. Their bittersweet taste leaves an ache in my chest that leaves me wanting.

Shifting...

2006-02-17T12:16:00.000-08:00

I can feel myself subtly shifting gears again. A couple months ago I had a sudden desire to hang around with the guys in the basement of my college's student center and play cards whenever I wasn't in class. At the same time I lost interest in writing and reading. I found myself playing with my games more then normal. But now, just in the past couple of days, i've felt myself shifting away from that again. I've passed up playing with my friends twice now in favor of more time at home to myself. I've begun re-reading stories I enjoy and searching out new reads. I've updated some of my fanfiction online and feel the need to continue writing. Yet at the moment I feel stuck in the middle. Lost in Translation you might say. (Yes I know, its a movie) I'm conflicted. I desire both and yet don't. And this feeling extends farther then just desires to change past times. I feel like i've backed off from my relationships, particularly my relationship with my girlfriend. I don't know if she's noticed but I can't help but feel like i've partially shut myself off from her, maybe even going so far as to say i've been avoiding her or pushing her off ever so slightly. I don't know if I mean it or not. Maybe its just a need for space. A light melancholy mood that's lasting longer then just a day or two perhaps. Grr...its kinda annoying but i'll manage.

...Or Not

2006-02-05T19:13:00.000-08:00

So much for that...

SEAHAWKS FOR THE WIN...

2006-02-05T14:09:00.000-08:00

Here's to all those Seahawks fans out there.

Good luck Seattle! Kick ass!

To Skate, Perchance to...Fall?

2006-01-22T11:21:00.000-08:00

I really should rollerblade more often. I'm not as bad as I always thought I was, yesterday proved it. My church had a social meet at the local roller rink and I pulled my girlfriend along for the ride. We had a grand old time, weaving between slower people, chasing each other. I found myself moving to the music as best I could and making a complete ass out of myself I'm sure. Daphne got mildly high on the cotton candy I got for her too. And no falling, not once! It really was a very enjoyable couple of hours. I highly recommend the joy that comes from skating hand in hand with someone you love. Worth every penny.

There's No Otaku Option...

2006-01-13T22:36:00.000-08:00

Avi, I blame you for the time I'm about to waste here. No pass back.

What Are You?
Redneck
1] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch? No.
2] Do you drive a four-wheeler? No.
3] Do you ride four-wheelers? No.
4] Do you like to get dirty? Meh.
5] Do you like country music? I avoid it wherever possible
6] Do you have a broken car in your back yard? No.
7] Do you own a cowboy hat? No.
8] Do you live on more then two acres? No.
9] Do you have more then four different animals at your home? Different kinds? No. Only 2 cats.
Total yes: 0/9

Goth
1] Do you wear black eyeliner? No.
2] Is most of your clothing dark? Nope, though I do like dark clothing.
3] Do you think about death often? Only at very odd moments
4] Are you a social outcast? Meh, I mingle wherever I need, but yeah.
5] Are you pale? Does Sun Spot mean anything to you?
6] Do you like Hot Topic? Love it!
7] Do you enjoy Tim Burton movies? Er, never seen one actually, at least I don't think I have.
8] Are you mean? Only to my brother.
Total yes: 3/8

Skater/Punk
1] Can you skateboard? No.
2] Do you wear Vans? No.
3] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends? Stupid to most people yes.
4] Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops? Yes.
5] Do you watch the X-games? I've watched out of bordom but not much.
6] Do you have any piercings? No.
7] Do you like/wear mohawks/fohawks? No, ugh.
8] Have you called someone a poser? No.
Total yes: 2/8

Prep
1] Do you say the word "like"? I have been accused of that sin yes.
2] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie & Fitch? No.
3] Do you pop the collar? Huh?
4] Do the people in Hot topic scare you? Heheh, they're funny lookin.
6] Do you watch Laguna Beach? No, I barely watch tv as is.
7] Do you like pop music? Um, I suppose I do.
8] Do you want/have a little dog? No.
9] Do you idolize Paris Hilton? Sleezeball richgirl. No.
Total yes: 2/9

Hippie
1] Is your hair long? It has been so yes.
2] Do you own a tye-dye shirt? No.
4] Do you want to save the animals? Sure, but only certain types.
5] Do you think war is unnecessary? Generally I'd have to agree.
6] Is love essential in your life? Hmm, girlfriend = yes.
7] Have you smoked pot? No.
8] Do you like classic rock and trippy music? Hell Yeah!
9] Do you wear paisley head-bands? shudder.

Total yes: 5/9

Gangsta
1] Do you act ghetto? hell no.
2] Do you wear do-rags? No.
3] Do you like hip-hop? maybe 2 songs, generally no.
4] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world? Can't spell crap without rap.
5] Do you believe he's alive? He's burnin.
6] Do you like afros? Bwahahahaha...no.
7] Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"? Yes, I shudder in memory.
8] Do you like to dance? Yep!

Total yes: 2/8

Emo
1] Do you cry often? No.
2] Do you wear hoodies? All the time.
3] Do you like screamo music? Don't think so.
4] Do people not understand you? On occasion but generally I get my point across.
5] Do you write your own songs? I am not musically inclined.
6] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark? I've wanted to but no.
7] Do you cut your own hair? Not that dumb.
8] Are you lonely? Nope.
9] Is Ohio for lovers? As much as any other regular place.

Total yes: 1/9

Surfer
1] Do you surf? Yes, or I would if there was a good beach and I had a board.
2] Do you wear flip flops year-round? I would if the weather was better.
3] Is your hair shaggy? It has been but not currently.
4] Do you wake up before six every morning? Thats funny, no.
5] Do you own many pairs of shorts? I can't count em all.
6] Are you tan? Again, sun spot.
7] Do you talk surfer lingo? I can and did.
8] Do you want to be at the beach right now? As long as its a warm Hawaiian one sure.
9] Do you hate tourists? Yes, but I happen to be one quite often.

Total yes: 6/9

Geek
1] Do you wear glasses? Not yet.
2] Do you get good grades? Um, sorta...*hangs head* I could do better.
3] Do you use an inhaler? Yes but only rarely.
4] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets? No.
5] Does your mom pick out your clothes? Only occasionally and only at goodwill.
6] Are you on the computer often? Yep.
7] Do you ever get picked on? Yes.
8] Do you look forward to go to school? Sure, I suppose so. Not for math though.
9] Are you shy around the opposite sex? Nope.
10] Do you like math? BEGONE EVIL SPAWN OF SATAN!!!

Total yes: 4/10

Girly
1] Do you look in the mirror a lot? Not a girlyman.
2] Does it take forever to pick something to wear? No.
3] Do you own lots of hair products? No.
4] Is your favourite colour pink/purple? No.
5] Do you "hog" the bathroom? No.
6] Are you afraid to get dirty? I can if I need to but I don't love it. No.
7] Do you flip out when you see a spider? No.
8] Are you on the phone a lot? No.
9] Do you eat like a bird? Walking black hole.
10] Do you hate it when people don't like you? No, I don't like them back, unless they're a friend, then yes.

Total yes: 0/10

Bwahahaha! I'm a Surfer Hippy with a good dose of geek on the side! I'll send you the bill for my time Avi, cash only.

Travel Travel Travel...

2006-01-07T17:43:00.000-08:00

Initially I started this post off with two full paragraphs, with more on the way I might add, about missing my girlfriend. But after the second paragraph I began to feel silly. I still miss her and all but putting it in writing, again and to much length I might add, seems un-needed. Daphne knows I miss her. And if she's not convinced she'll learn very quickly when she gets back.

So, leaving it at that, I decided to scrub the first draft and start on something new. It came back to my attention this afternoon as my family sat down to eat lunch, together amazingly enough, that I had a free round trip airfare anywhere Alaska Airline flew to use before summer. I acquired said ticket by being bumped some time ago coming back from california. Having just come back from England and California at that point I wasn't much interested in travel but today I found that the idea of travelling had reasserted itself in my mind, probably due to "D's" current absense.

After a quick check on where Alaska flew I decided I would have to make a choice. I already know I want to travel alone, much like I did in England, and bum it in backpacking hotels or some such place. (unless someone's willing to put up with my travel pace)My three options are Boston, New York City, and DC, all other cities being uninteresting or impractical for travel purposes. I have been to each of them before but yearn to go back still. I know even DC has more to offer then what i've seen. The best thing about those three cities is that they have the public transportation I need to get around seeing as I can't rent a car yet. (I did think of coming out and visiting Wudge in Chicago but dismissed it. Unless of course you can convince me otherwise my dear friend.)

Granted the ideas are still in the most basic of planning stages but I'm sure more will come as time wears on. I'm pretty sure i'll end up going during spring break or something but beyond that there isn't much to tell. Just happy thoughts and ideas. Anyway, enough yakin for now. Classes start this coming monday and I'm looking forward to getting back into action. Cheers.

Contemplating Bringing in a New Year...

2005-12-31T17:15:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note on bringing in the new year. I hope you all are gonna be having much more fun than I am tonight. *looks pointedly at Rali and Wudge* At least you'll have someone to entertain yourselves with. Even Avi, i'm sure, will have more fun then I will. Heck, even my England bound Daphne will probably get more of a kick out of the pass of one year to the new then I will. I'll be working tonight making sure all those silly people who actually want to shop tonight will have carts and a clean store to play in. True I get off at 11pm but what can you do when all that's left to do is go back home and wait for the new year to jump you in the darkness? I'm not even gonna bother looking at a bar. I don't want to venture into one of those without at least a couple friends and my one attempt at spirits wasn't a great success. I could try and rouse my only remaining friend in the neighborhood, Washu, but I doubt she'd want to do anything. She's not been the most social as of late which I can understand due to holiday work hours. So what to do then? Make some more headway on my fanfics? I'm sure my fans would like that. Read? Done too much of that lately. Play a new years practical joke on someone? Again not without friends or someone good to prank. Maybe i'll go digging under my bed and find something I could sort or toy with. Oh well. Happy New Year to all of you. May this next year bring you what you most need, be it joy, peace, or whatever. Cheers!

Merry Christmas and stuff...

2005-12-25T11:39:00.000-08:00

A little christmas cheer from me to you. This is my theme song this christmas. Its a new little dity by the Goo Goo Dolls entitled Better Days. I would suggest giving it a listen. Its exceptional.

And you ask me what I want this year

And I try to make this kind and clear

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings

And desire and love and empty things

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words

And sing out loud

Cuz everyone is forgiven now

Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live

And something only you can give

And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive

And the one poor child that saved this world

And there's 10 million more who probably could

If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words

And sing out loud

Cuz everyone is forgiven now

Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight

And somehow stop this endless fight

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words

And sing out loud

Cuz everyone is forgiven now

Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

Lost Innocence Resounding...

2005-12-14T11:20:00.000-08:00

For some reason I woke up this morning with a desire to skim through my unsorted picture box. It quickly became a trip down memory lane. I basically ended up ignoring anything post Hawaii. Picking through my years there I kept coming up with pictures that jumped out at me. Pictures that had vivid memories attached to them, almost like watching a movie. And with each of them I kept remembering how I felt I was on top of the world, I felt like I was at my ultimate there, like I was as smart or as big or as happy as i'd ever be at that particular moment. I can't help but marvel at my utter innocence and child like faith in myself and my world. In particular I keep coming back to the idea that I knew i'd be living in Hawaii the rest of my life. It was all I remembered, all that i'd ever known and really cared for. It was my home and my love. It didn't matter if some other place was bigger or had more cool stuff, it could never replace Hawaii. And in a way thats still true. Hawaii is the golden paradise of my childhood and no matter how many times I go back there now and see it for what it really is, a crowded tourist trap, it will never wipe out my childhood love of the islands, but it will seperate me. And that pains me becuase now I know i'll never be able to enjoy it like I could back then. The love is still there but reality has risen up and built a wall around that love made of the harsh stuff that reality is. I've become jaded, of maybe its just enlightened. Whatever it is it has shut me off from regaining my lost golden paradise. And while i'm perfectly content with my life and home as it is I can't help but wonder what it would be like to have the golden paradise back again. If I had never moved would I still feel the same? I doubt it. It's questions like these that keep me coming back to my pictures. Questions like these that make me treasure that special time all the more.

Battlescars...

2005-12-08T12:30:00.000-08:00

Rawr! Just got back from my Tai Kwon Do final. The only person this quarter to test for and pass for two belts. I'm now officially a Cho Rok Dee(green belt) of the Choi Tai Kwon Do school of Martial arts.

Honestly I was scared to death. Passing for green belt requires quite a few things. You have to know both the yellow and green belt poomse(forms/kata) which, if you don't know what forms are, are a series of moves designed to simulate taking on various attacks from every direction. They're my favorite part of the sport and I was totally ready for them. To test for each belt you must learn at least one new one as well as be able to repeat all your old ones. Higher belts often learn two or three new poomse to advance.

Also, each level comes with certain one step defensive moves that you must learn. Each is designed to respond to a basic punch or kick from your opponent. For instance; A3, one of the 9 you must know to pass to yellow belt, delivers a knife hand block to the opponents punching wrist while at the same time delivering a knife hand to their throats. Green belts add on 5 more one steps including two that require you to actually drop your opponent to the floor before delivering the final blow. Also a very fun part of the class.

Then of course there's your knowledge of the basic foot and hand attacks as well as all the blocks and stances required for the next belt. Fairly basic stuff. After that comes full contact sparring with two opponents of your level. You fight for 2 minutes using every kick, punch, or block you know of and are graded on your technique, not how many hits you land. Sparring is my weakest area honestly. I'm naturally more prone to defensive measures which means TKD isn't really my thing. It would suit me much more to take Aikido or Hapkido as those center on blocking or redirecting your opponents attacks. But thanks to two quarters of class i've become more bold and much more confidant in my offensive abilities.

Next comes a test on your vocabulary, which is all in korean. Difficult but not overly so. After hearing the teacher's instructions day after day in korean it gets well ingrained in your system. Unless you're not paying attention in class like alot of the white belts were. Many had a very difficult time answering correctly. Some were so far off the mark they were told to go sit down and wait to come back up and try again.

And finally there was breaking. This was the part I was scared about. For green belt and up you are required to break pine boards. Guys are required to break 3 and girls 2. Again as you move upwards your number of boards increases. This was the first time i'd broken boards and frankly it was easier then i'd imagined. It did take me a couple tries to break the board with my knife hand, its still hurting now, but my front kick and step side kick went through after only two tries each! Thats pretty good for someone completely new to breaking like I was.

I didn't come away without injuries though. I got a nasty 5 inch friction burn on my left arm during sparring from blocking a kick but with the fluids pumping like they were I didn't notice till nearly five minutes after the fact. I also knocked my left leg muscle pretty hard when I roundhouse kicked my opponent and he blocked. Gonna be walkin funny for a couple days. Then of course my right hand hurts because of the repeated attempts to break my first board.

But despite all that I came away with a B in the class and my 2 new belts. I'm so happy! I'm even thinking about taking another term of this. I must be crazy.

Dude, Where's my Ice Skates...?

2005-11-30T13:57:00.000-08:00

Ever tried directing 25 shopping carts through a parking lot thats half coated in ice at 10pm? No? Didn't think so. You should try it some time. Heh, anyway, we here in the general Portland area have had our first cold front roll in and with it has come fun evenings at work. Seriously though, when your gloved hands try to stick to the bars of the cart corrals in the parking lot you know its cold. When the last five cars in the parking lot are literally creating a cloud of steam so dense that its tough to see through. When you spend five minutes tag teaming the ice thats built up on your windows and mirrors. When you go to open your car door and hear ominous cracking noises when the ice holding it closed snaps. And now they're saying it could be snowing tomorrow morning, the day I have to both go to class at 9 and be at work in the evening. Suddenly i'm doubting my ability to drive. I'm packing on more layers of clothing both to help with the cold and to make sure any accident I get in won't get me as banged up as it should. I must have been crazy to think working the parking lot during winter would be easy. Idiot.

Life and Death, Take Your Pick...

2005-11-22T09:04:00.000-08:00

Wow...21 years. Hard to believe i've lived about a fourth of my life already. I'm now legal in all respects. (yes I tried a drink, no I didn't like it) But as far as birthdays go it was not that spectacular. Years from now when someone asks me what I did for my 21st birthday i'll be able to answer truthfully..."I went to a funeral, thats about it."

The whole funeral thing started on the 6th of November. My great great uncle, who i'd never seen before yet lived in the same general area as myself, died at the ripe old age of 98. He was a man of the church, having filled almost every major roll in the Adventist community during his long life time. A very powerful man and loved by many. We are connected through my dad's parents, my grandmother being the blood relation. Anyway, when it was announced he had died the family began making plans and decided, without my opinion of course, to hold the funeral on the 19th which just happened to be my birthday. My Grandfather was one of the major players in the planning and organization and yet failed to realize his blunder until they arrived in town. They laughed and said they were sorry and asked, more like demanded subtly, that my part of the family attend. My dad was already stuck as a pallbearer so we got dragged along for the ride. Needless to say it was boring but enlightening none the less. I don't want to be in a room with that many old people for a while though. I swear, every lady over 40 in that church had the same basic hairsyle. Adventist old people, all cast out of the same mold. *shudder*

The day ended on a better note. I got to have a movie night with friends and got some pretty nice swag, including a decent amount of cash, most of which was spent yesterday buying myself an iPod mini for a good price at work. The girlfriend found me a WW2 combat knife, a dvd or three were obtained through various sources, a new journal was aquired, a massive miliary history book was also procured, music of the soundtrack type was gotten, and last but not least a new set of bedroom slippers. Not bad at all considering my car was also part of the bargin. It just ended up being an early birthday present. I don't expect much for christmas. ;)

Revenge of the Sibling...

2005-11-11T18:58:00.000-08:00

Well its that time of year again. The first of eight days of the year that my brother can stand tall and state proudly that he is four years younger then myself, not the usual five. His reign of slight olderness will end when I turn 21 on the 19th, taking the difference offically back to five years. Ah the joys of brothers. I surprised him after drama practice by picking him up and treating him to a fast food dinner and a $20 shopping spree at Hottopic...which was passed by in favor of Suncoast and the new Batman movie on dvd. Such a fickle boy. Bah...what are little brothers for? Certainly not to make sense.

Wheel Deals...

2005-11-06T23:49:00.000-08:00

Well its happened. I am now the proud driver of a 1991 toyota camary. No more rainy bike rides to school or work. No more bumming rides off of friends, at least regularly. And no more relying on parents for day to day transport. Its a nice feeling. I finally have the freedom of wheels and now I've caught a glimpse of why it is people can be so obsessive about their cars. Its not a car to brag about. Its no frills white, no cd player, and its has it share of problems being as old as it is. It does have a V6 under the hood which gives it more umpf then any other car i've driven for any amount of time. But in its own special way its rapidly becoming a smile inducer for me. I'm working on a name for it(yes i'm naming it, no its not a boat, so sue me) and i've already begun customizing the interior. No major expenditures of money, just the basics like new floorpads, rear view mirror danglers of some sort, and seat covers. I'm sure i'll be writing more about it in the coming weeks and months but for now bed is calling. Its been an eventful day and I need sleep.

Maybe not from Venus, but Still Pretty Weird...

2005-10-28T17:51:00.000-07:00

Well its been a busy week and boy am I glad its over. Worked monday through friday, got rained on heavily tues and thurs night, had a midterm, and generally wore myself out. It is such a blessing to sit down and not worry about work tomorrow. I can rest, relax, and get a little more Neon Genesis Evangelion watching in. Got my second check today as well, its been what i've pushed my self towards this week. Anyway...

Saw a very interesting play on wednesday. I'm sure Daphne will write something about it so i'll simply say that it was cool. But one little thing I want to hit on was something that happened just before the play. Daphne and I were the first ones into the theater so we got to see everyone else come in. About 10 minutes before the show started a man and two ladies came in and sat directly behind us. The ladies were chatting like they were old friends but the guy kept quiet. I of course, being bored, listened in. Suddenly, in mid conversation one of the ladies turned to the guy and said "Oh, this is (insert name here), I met her in line for the bathroom." The man said hello to the new bathroom aquaintance and the ladies then continued to talk. I for one wanted to sputter and laugh. Met her in line for the bathroom and already talkin like that?! Wow. I was struck once again how differently men and women are wired. Guys try their best to ignore each other and not make eye contact in the bathroom for fear that someone might think they were 'checkin them out' or something. Girls on the other hand apparently talk freely and even make friends in the bathroom. Simply amazing.

Life's Proverbial "Hidden Level"...

2005-10-20T21:53:00.000-07:00

Its always interesting to find a friend in someone you've 'known' for a while. The people you see every other day at school. The person that hangs out in the same group as you but that you've never taken the time to know. One such friendship has been cultivated over the past week. A guy a year or so older then me that plays magic the gathering in the campus center of my local community college that I attend has suddenly jumped into my rapidly growing circle of new game friends. I've known his name only for a couple of weeks now but before then i've known him for his constant wearing of german combat camo and his love of high detail military action figures, the kind that come with every little bit of gear possible. We got into several discussions on guns/tanks/planes/etc and soon discovered we could carry on a conversation about any military topic far longer then any other person was willing to. He's probably the only other guy my age that I know that can rattle off as much inane military history knowledge as I can and honestly, its hella fun. Granted this isn't the kind of friendship that extends outside of school or the occasional game shop but its really quite a find for me. Its like unlocking the hidden passage in a game that leads you to a whole new 'secret level'. Maybe not on that same intensity level but it sure has some of the same feeling.

See This Look? It's Called Pain...

2005-10-13T16:53:00.000-07:00

I have to be a glutton for punishment. Got the snot beat out of me in TKD again today. Thursdays are the day we do full contact sparring. Now I didn't join this class to learn how to fight as a sport, I joined for the physical and mental concentration that comes from learning your forms and staying in shape. Unfortunately for me the class is geared to prepare you for the twice a year tournys that they have here in oregon. They don't expect you to go but they prep you more for that then for self defense etc. Anyway...went up against the 2 highest belts in the class outside of the teacher and 2 of the top ten in the class. They left me with blisters, faint bruises, and a limp that still hasn't faded away. But it was a learning experience for me. Now I know to possition myself better in line so I can avoid the higher belts.

Should be getting my first paycheck tomorrow. After three weeks of work I really need a reminder of why i'm doing this. Over 300 dollars in my pocket will help remind me very well. It can't come soon enough. Yet it seems to already be burning a hole in my pocket. I've begun noticing more things that I think/feel I need. Most of them are just plain out stupid and won't get past the 'i wish' point but there are a few that need some more consideration. I intend to keep a tighter reign on my money now that i'll be pulling in more then i've ever gotten from one job.

The rain has returned to the Northwest after a very long dry summer. I've really missed the wet and dark. Gives me more of a reason to stay indoors. Plus it feeds that bit of melancholy and keeps it from getting out of hand. The comforters have appeared on beds, heavier clothing has pushed the light summer wear out of the way in my closet, and biking to work has begun to look less and less inviting. Thus my families increased interest in getting me a car. We're looking at several early to mid 90s hondas. I must admit that the idea of getting one is really getting to me now that there's actually a very real chance for one. Now every time I have to take the bus or use my bike when its cold or wet I end up telling myself that car can't come soon enough. Hopefully I won't have to wait much longer. Wonder what i'll name it...

To Be Lazy Once Again...

2005-10-06T23:01:00.000-07:00

That's about what I feel like after today. Get up early, hitch a ride to class so I can nearly kill myself working out and get the stuffing beaten out of me by other students (Tae Kwon Do), take the bus home, do chores, eat a quick dinner, rush to work, work to close doing parts of my job for the first time, and finally stumble home at 10:30 so I can do my best impression of a puddle of human...stuff...in front of my computer. I really need to stop talkin bout work otherwise thats all my posts will become.

On the Fanfiction front...due to a certain traumatic experience a couple weeks ago I was put off writing while my mind tried to reboot. But now that the problem has been resolved I no longer have that excuse. Work and School, however, have easily taken up the load. Added to this I've hit something of a dry spell. I know where I want to go with my stories but I don't know how to fill in the small spaces at the moment. I've also had the recent problem of wanting to read more then write. But despite all this i'm gonna kick myself into gear and try to get something out for the sake of keeping people happy and appeasing my own desires. Look for something soon.

Current Music: One Night in Bangkok, Murray Head

Barely Worth the Update...

2005-10-03T11:37:00.000-07:00

I head off to work again in about 20 minutes. 7 1/2 hours of work for me today. *shudder* That's almost more then what several of my friends get in one week. I already know my feet are gonna be hurting by the end of the day. I'm gonna be hungry too since I won't have any money to get dinner during my break. Gonna have to wait till next monday to get my first paycheck so i'm gonna have to pack a lunch till then. blarg...

Saw "Just Like Heaven" last night with Daphne. Oh yeah, I didn't say as much...but we're back together. A very confusing and painful affair but you've just gotta expect some speed bumps and potholes along the road of life. Anyway, the movie was pretty good. A little corny at times but i've also come to expect that from most chick flicks. Heheheh, but then you might be able to say that of some of the anime I watch. One thing's for sure, she's got leverage on me now since I was the one that suggested the movie. Oh well...gotta get dressed for work. I'm gonna get there early again, I just know it. But until I know the bus route and how long it takes me to get there i'm gonna leave early and just take a book to read if i'm early.

The Days Just Fill Up...

2005-09-26T20:36:00.000-07:00

I've gone from empty weeks to pressed for time on all fronts in just under a weekend. My life is re-accelerating back to normal life levels. My class starts tomorrow, today was my first day at my new job(got a front end job at Target), and friends are disappearing back to college. Maybe i'm just not used to it since its been so long, but i'm not liking how this is working out so far. Its probably just cause i've been so lax lately. I'm resigning myself to hard workouts in class, long hours at work, and less social interaction with friends. But at the same time i'll be getting in better shape, making money, and meeting new people. Suddenly i'm reminded of a certain kiddy song... "I don't wanna grow up, i'm a blah blah you know the rest."

Dazed and Confused...

2005-09-19T22:42:00.000-07:00

It feels like i've got a drunkard pulling my emotional strings at the moment. I don't think he knows what he's doing and I'm sure in no state to really deal with him at the moment. Right now all I can tell you is that his driving sucks and that i'm taking away his license if I ever manage to get him to stop. No more updates for a while; Not until I get my problems sorted out into something I can handle. Until then if you see a guy alternately crying his eyes out, cursing up a storm, and looking off into space in a daze, driving a 1984 clunker with oregon plates...please shoot out his tires and report him to the police. It would be much appreciated.

Current Music: Its All Been Done, Barenaked Ladies

In Rhapsody...

2005-09-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

A little of what i'm feeling right now...

You...

You...

You...

are still a whisper on my lips
A feeling at my fingertips
That's pulling at my skin

You leave me when I'm at my worst
Feeling as if I've been cursed
Bitter cold within

Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you

Without you...
Without you...
-Days Go By, Dirty Vegas

...If I could
Maybe I'd give you my world
How can I?
When you won't take it from me

You can go your own way
Go your own way
You an call it
Another lonely day
You can go your own way
Go your own way...
- Go Your Own Way, Fleetwood Mac

It's too late to cry I love you.
The wind still blowing, my heart still aching

One side of my eyes see tomorrow,
And the other one see yesterday
I hope I could sleep in the cradle of your love, again

Cry for me, somebody, with dry eyes

The real folk blues
I just want to feel a real sorrow
It's not a bad life in the muddy river
If life is once

Hopeless hope, and the chance with traps
What is right, or wrong
It's like both sides of a coin

How long I must live till I release?

The real folk blues
I just want to feel a real pleasure
All that glitters is not gold
-The Real Folk Blues, Cowboy Bebop

The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town

You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere

You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace...
-Beautiful Day, U2

...Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees, yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind,
I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now...
-Bittersweet Symphony, The Verve

...Reasons for me to find you
Peace of mind
What can I do
to get me to you

I had your number quite some time ago
Back when we were one
But I had to grow

Ten thousand years I've searched it seems and now
Gotta get to you
Won't you tell me how

Call me, Call me
Let me know you are there
Call me, call me
I wanna know you still care
Come on now won't you
Ease my mind
Reasons for me to find you
Peace of mind
Reasons for living my life
Ease my mind
Reasons for me to know you
Peace of mind
what can I do
to get me to you...
-Call Me Call Me, Cowboy Bebop

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you...

...There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way...
-Everything I do, I do it for You, Bryan Adams

Happiness is just a word to me
And it might have meant a thing or two
If I'd known the difference

Emptiness, a lonely parody
And my life, another smokin' gun
A sign of my indifference...
-Gotta Knock a Little Harder, Kanno Yoko

Untitled Sadness...(Impractical)

2005-09-17T21:57:00.000-07:00

First of all i'd like to direct your attention back to my August 4th post titled "Out of Left Field". That should get you into the basic mind frame for the rest of this post...

Actually...I don't know where to start. I wrote a paragraph but then scrapped it. Then another couple lines. Those got scrapped too. Amazing what emotional shock will do to your writing abilites.

I'm not up for this tonight. I'm gonna turn on the melancholy music, close my eyes, and let the tears come. When I have it more together i'll let it out in writing.

Current Music: Days Go By, Dirty Vegas

Obligitory 9/11 Post...

2005-09-11T09:55:00.000-07:00

I felt I needed to update and since its the 11th of september it gave me a perfect reason to spout words and stuff. Its hard to believe its been four years since the towers went down. I remember every detail of that morning. How I found out, how school was that day, etc. My generation finally has something along the same lines as Pearl Harbor to recall. I'm sure i'll start many a story like so... "I remember it like it was yesterday..." We'll be asked by kids and grandkids, if they bother to remember, and i'll be able to recount for them my little piece of significant history. I think I was kind of envious of those older folks who could recount where they were when Pearl was bombed or when they dropped the first A-bomb. It links them to history in a way nothing else can. Anyway...I'm babbling.

I played some great games of bowling last night, 4 in fact. Beat my competition every time. They put up a good fight though. But in so doing I missed the US opening of Naruto. For those of you who don't know its gonna be the new big thing in the american anime world. Think DBZ or Inu Yasha popularity. Thats how big its gonna get. Luckily I had someone tape it for me.

I'd also like to send a shout out to a couple of friends who've had birthdays or are about to have them. Two of them are in SOCAL and are probably raiding disneyland as I write. The other is probably still sleeping off his late night some where in Oregon City. Happy Birthday to all of you, even if you wish you weren't a year older.

My Conversation With Me...

2005-09-05T21:02:00.000-07:00

Been a busy weekend for me. Between friends coming up from cali and a civil war weekend I can barely keep from sinking back into a dark corner and getting some 'me' time in. The social batteries need a serious recharge after the last couple of days. Probably would have been even more drained if I'd put forth the effort to get downtown for the last day of our local Anime convention. I did that last year but chose not to do it again because, like last time, I would have only caught the tail end of it. That and I have no money to spare for the admission or the loads of stuff i'd want to buy. Ah the life of a jobless college kid.

I really need to find something to take pride in. I've got a list. I already write, re-enact, and...um. Well I guess I take pride in my girlfriend too but I don't work on her the same way I work on the others. I need something to build or put energy in to. I've thought about taking up plastic modeling again but it needs to be something larger. A job would fill that nitch quite well but I haven't put nearly enough energy into getting one. I've tried kinda half heartedly. I'm almost scared of getting one I think. A job would mean responsiblity and things like that. I want one but don't...argh...I don't know what i'm saying any more. I'm kinda writing this off the hip. No forethought here. I'd rather put my energy into school but I can't do that because right now i'm limited to only a few credits because I personally have to pay for the classes. So I guess it does come down to a job. The problem now is getting one and holding onto it for a good while.

I can't tell if writing this is helping or not. These thoughts have come up again because my parents have promised more reprisals for me not having a job by now. I'm not looking forward to it. I know that if I leave my room tonight they'll pounce. I can hear them talking now and I think its about me. I could just be paranoid but I don't think so. They're worried about me I know but the way they present it, especially the way dad does it, makes me hate them for it.

sigh...my cat just showed up. I think i'll go invest some time and energy in him.

Why Do I Do This...?

2005-08-31T09:32:00.000-07:00

No really...why am I writing a blog no one reads? I've gotten 2, count em 2, comments in the last month. Thats par for the course pretty much for the entire time i've been doin this. Maybe i'm too used to reading other blogs and seeing whole bunches of comments. Of course the one i'm thinking of is co-written by 4 people and they're pretty much the only ones who write comments on their blog. But thats beside the point. Am I just doing this so I can grumble and talk to myself? I can do that without touching a keyboard dang it! Sigh... I want to know if people other than Daphne ever read this junk. Even she barely comments though.

I'm pathetic.

Edit - It has now been a year since I started this. Sept 04 to Sept 05. Wow.

A Salute to the Finest Generation...

2005-08-28T21:18:00.000-07:00

I spent the better part of a my late morning and early afternoon taking in the sights and experiences offered just across the border in Washington state. This year marking the sixieth year since the end of World War Two and with August 14th just behind us, that being the day Japan surrendered and the offical end of the war world wide, the good state of Washington put on a great celebration to ring in this historic year. There were fly ins and fly byes of some great military aircraft. Multiple re-enacting groups representing various units from the time period showed up. Great bands and music. Vets from all nations. It was pretty good. Nothing like participating in the 50th back in Hawaii but still good for the Northwest.

So I thought i'd raise my hand in Salute today in honor of all the people who served their countries, on both sides, during those years. I respect you more then any other generation before or after you. Not just because I have a love for your history, but because you are unique. America has never come together like it did for you and probably never will again. You showed what we could do when we were totally dedicated to a cause. People may think we got tough after 9/11 but that was nothing compared to the steel you showed the world after Pearl Harbor. The same goes for our allies.

But my respect also extends to those who fought on the loosing side. Your dedication to your countries was iron clad in ways we can only dream of. I cannot bring myself to mark you all as wrong for simply following orders or protecting your countries. Only a select few earn the bad marks in my book where the axis are concerned.

I wish we had more people like you today. My heart goes out to all of you, living and dead. You truely are the finest generation!

Poetry From the Bored...

2005-08-22T22:07:00.000-07:00

Thought i'd take a breather from studies and let loose my mind to wander the halls of pointlessness and idle thought.
.
.
It didn't take me very long to get bored with that so I decided to come here.
.
.
And I just realized I don't have anything to write about. And knowing some people's dislike for random dribble (glares at the smker group) I have decided to dig up my old thoughts and poety book and pull out a classic.

"Five hundred miles.

It is all a long distance.

but never too far.

Alright enough. I return to my work now. But from now on I will be including one item from "If I were an Evil Emperor" at the end of every post. Hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

If I were an Evil Emperor... #12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

(stuck in a different poem because of the last one's length and overly religious nature. Thought i'd be more considerate for those of you who prefer not to read such things.)

A.D.D.? Hell Yeah...!

2005-08-18T12:26:00.000-07:00

Well its been suspected for a long time now on my parents part. Mom especially since she's had to read up alot on it because of my brother. But now its finally been confirmed. I have a mild form of ADD, or attention deficite disorder. Basically it means I tend to be unfocused on tasks I dislike and tend to procrastinate and put stuff off, which is what i've been doing now for who knows how long. My mom became suspicious when she had my bro tested for it. From what she read it sounded like it fit me more then it did my brother. So she got me tested back in 8th or 9th grade and it was decided that I came close but merely had a hard time concentrating. But now, because of my lack of job-ness, my parents sent me off to talk to the same guy again, a shrink I guess, and the topic came around to ADD again. So we tested out again and it came up about the same. But when I started talkin about my problems with him he began to say it was sounding more and more like I actually DID have it. So we're taking steps to work with it. I'm getting a planner, setting unbreakable rules, getting a coach to help me with keeping on track, and so on. I don't want to use this as an excuse. I want my to strangle my problems to death and then burry them six feet under. I'm gonna need alot of help too. For those of you who read my fanfiction it'll mean I probably won't be updating as much, not that I update regularly anyway. For my friends it means i'm gonna be calling on you to push me along and deneying me things if needs be such as game time, get togethers, etc. But only if I can't prove that i've been following my schedual and doing what needs to be done.

So there it is people. One of the big reasons behind why I am like I am. If you've ever wondered why I seem to rush through things I dislike, say shopping (winks at Daphne), well now you know. I'll try better. I just need your help keeping me on track and on focus otherwise i'll . . . hey look, a beach!

OMG! Commando Squirrels Are Raiding My Strategic Cracker Reserves...

2005-08-10T12:11:00.000-07:00

Hehehe . . . don't mind me people.

Go about your buisness.

Nothin to see here . . .

No you didn't see a squirrel with

a Squad Automatic Weapon just now.

No he's not taking all the food from the fridge.

*whisper* He doesn't like it when I talk about him.

err . . . I mean . . .

*bullets ripping into flesh noise*

hurk . . . bleh . . .

Out of Left Field...

2005-08-04T11:13:00.000-07:00

What do you do when your world takes a blow below the belt?

What do you say when someone says the unthinkable?

What do you think when thoughts unthought before pummel your mind?

Do you take the hit and keep walking?

Do you respond in kind?

Do you let logic take control?

Or do you fall to the ground?

Remain speachless?

Let chaos reign among your thoughts?

It can be difficult some times to roll with the punches life throws at you.

They can come out of left field.

Throw you for a loop.

Hit you in a blind spot.

Or you can see them coming a mile away and simply be unable to dodge them.

It takes strength of will,

Toughness of character,

Faith in your friends, relatives, and religion,

To pull you through some of them.

But sometimes that doesn't cut it.

Sometimes you fall and don't get up.

Your will broken,

toughness out toughed,

and faith a shattered memory.

The breaking point that all are capable of.

I have yet to see anyone reach that point.

I pray I never do.

I have yet to reach that point myself.

And I pray I never do.

Recollections...

2005-08-01T16:39:00.000-07:00

I just had a major desire to revisit my England trip pictures. It came out of no where. I dropped my game and just went back and looked at them, trying to visualize where I was for each and connect with those places again. Traveling alone for the first time, in Europe no less, really was a blast. Master of my own destiny and all. But now, with several months between me and the trip, i'm beginning to see how much of a fool I was. I'm smacking myself now because of all the stupid mistakes I made and all the chances I missed out on to further my experience. Don't get me wrong, I did a hell of a lot of stuff over there and got into the best shape of my life because of it, but there was so much I missed because I didn't think I had the time or the money. The time thing was mostly true except for an occasional day of laziness, but the money thing kept me from doing many things I wanted to do...most of which was in London. But now I know better. I'll be ready for my next solo sojourn when it happens.

Thought i'd share a picture before I got back to what I was doing. This is a self portrait of me looking out over Portsmouth Harbor and Spithead in the early morning. I went everywhere with that beret and camo jacket. I got lots of stares in some places and almost none in others. Portsmouth was my first stop on my south/southwest coast sweeping tour while Daphne finished her finals. One of the better sections of my trip in fact.

Brain Meltdown in Progress...

2005-07-27T16:44:00.000-07:00

Sitting in a college common room for almost 6 hours strait reading about ancient history with no one around and only 2 quarters to play an arcade game with melts brain matter like nothing else. Its a unique experience filling your brain with ancient facts and feeling the stuff that went in just before floating out through your ears. I ended up looking, and probably feeling, just like those zombies I so despise on the bus home. You know em, those people who just don't look right with those vacant stares that keep connecting with your eyes whenever you chance a look up from whatever reading material you brought with you. The ones with the drool dribbling out the side of their mouths and the smell of rot and booze gushing out of their bodies. Yeah, those people. Considering I didn't find any drool pools anywhere on my cloths today I must not have gotten that bad. But it still feels like it.

Current Song: Days Go By, Dirty Vegas

Babysitting...And Stupid Parents...

2005-07-17T13:38:00.000-07:00

Ok, its not really babysitting, but it feels like it. My brother has a couple of his little friends over for an anime day which means they need access to my collection. I happen to be very protective of my collection and i'm especially touchy about letting my brother get at it. He tends to steal and or lend out my stuff if he gets ahold of it which i've strickly forbidden him to do because of previous losses and damages he's caused. There are other reasons as well but we won't get into family politics here. So basically i've been forced to compromise. I get to sit around at home with them making sure they don't do anything stupid with my stuff and generally keeping them out of trouble for the parent people. Not that I have anything else to do today. I would happily stay around if I had the new Potter book to dive into but I don't. I could go get it today but if I wait my parents will get it for me and I won't pay a cent. (>^.^)> <(^.^<)

Studying is on the list today. So's job searching. Sigh...... I don't want to do either though. Maybe babysitting isn't so bad then. ; P

Edit: Gotta throw this in otherwise i'm gonna stew on it and stay mad for a long time. When I went over to England my parents raided my room. They cleaned, which was nice. They sorted, which wasn't completely needed but isn't bad. And they stole, which is why i'm so pissed right now.

I consider myself somewhat of a game geek. I've played the video games, traded the card games, and role played the RPGs. My parents haven't always liked what i've done but i've never seen it as totally bad. Its a fun past time and, unlike the people who have no life, I try to keep the damage these games cause to my normal life to a minimum. I've never gone whole hog on a game to the extent where I do nothing else but that game. (My former roomy is a case in point of someone who DID go whole hog) I just can't stand playing anything for too great a length of time.

Anyway...When I came home from my trip I found my room re-arranged and missing several things, namely my three dnd books, which I had thought safely stashed away. I didn't say anything to my parents about it, instead seeking the perfect time to pop the question, which I did about a week ago. I got very little response from them at the time. It boiled down to "I don't know what we did with them". Well tonight I brought the subject back up and it got alot more heated. Now I paid for these with my own money, hardly touched them when I wasn't using them in a game(which were extremely rare), and never let my parents even know I had them. They were doing no harm to anyone. Now let me ask you. Do you think it's ok for my parents to take them and then, when questioned and pushed, deny knowledge of their whereabouts and refuse to give them back or refund them?!? I sure the hell don't think its ok! I want my stinkin books back or at least some cash for compensation. In total I've paid $100 for all of them(they didn't get one) and i'd really like to at least be able to gain back some of that.

To quote a favorite webcomic..."Crap, Piss, Kill!" Thats about what i'm feelin like at this moment.

Another Long Weekend...

2005-07-05T15:39:00.000-07:00

I just can't seem to get enough of these long weekend things. I spent the entire 4th of July weekend at a Civil War Re-enactment in 90 degree weather. Wearing wool and carrying a rifle increased said temperature by at least 10 degrees, minimum. But it was all worth it. I got to spend time doing something I enjoy with people I only get to see maybe four times a year. It was a blast but i'm payin for it now. My face is burnt and I acquired several spider bites. I also got a nasty blister or two. But thats the price you pay in this hobby so I don't really mind.

I started an Independent Study class today on Ancient History. I got the introductory lecture from the teacher and, most likely, won't see her again during the entire class due to the way I.S. classes are done. I haven't had much success with internet classes of this sort but this time its all book and i've already set up weekly work times that I plan on keeping. If I can't do this then I doubt my parents will ever help pay for school again. So it all rest on my output in this class. *Cross your fingers*

Current Song: Sarutobi, Naruto Volume 3

All Funned Out...

2005-06-27T16:04:00.000-07:00

Wow, long weekend. I know birthday celebrations, especially 21st birthday celebrations, are supposed to be fun and all...but three days of fun is a bit much I think. And considering my endurance for such high intensity social interactions is limited because of my temperment I found it to be a great relief to finally call it quits last night. Don't get me wrong. I loved the time I got to spend with friends and all...but people like me have a more limited battery life for things of that nature. I woke up today and went to see friends off to the airport but after that was done I promptly went home and buried my nose in a new book until I was driven out of my chair by a combination of hunger and multiple phone calls. I should be out looking for a job today but I just can't seem to leave the house again for some reason. I think it's because my 'low battery' light is still on.

Note: This is not my birthday we're talking about here. Only Daphne could pull off planning three days of fun and get away with it.

Home Never Felt So...Homey...

2005-05-26T11:33:00.000-07:00

Yeah i'm back. Its been a long three weeks but i'm back. And let it be known, England is cool and all...but i'm glad to be home. Oh have no doubt I could survive there just as well as I could here but America most certainly has some advantages over England. We drive normally, none of that "left side of the road" stuff for me. Too weird. I look one way but nearly get run over by a car from the other direction. Its just not natural. Everything's cheaper here. I'm tired of spending the equivilent of a buck fifty for a 99 cent cheeseburger at Mc'ds. You can just imagine how things progress from there. America has rootbeer... no more needs to be said on that topic. Roads are bigger here and lack round-a-bouts. The few times I travelled by car I was very uncomfortable about the closeness of passing cars and the insane speed at which drivers took round-a-bouts. Granted they do keep traffic moving but that's beside the point. There are more but i'll stop with just those.

But England does have some things going for it. Over 2000 years of "interesting" history to explore. Pubs and a lower drinking age, not that it mattered for me since I didn't drink anything. Better public transport...I love trains now by the way, and yet I spent a huge amount of time walking. *scratches head in confusion* I don't know how that worked exactly. Differences in culture and traditions. And best of all...Cornish Pasties!!! *drool*

Eh hem. Anyway. I'm glad to be home and i'm glad to have my girl back. Now comes the task of re-inserting her into life here and, on a similar note, getting my life back up and running again.

Now i'm off to indulge in some good old home cooking and a bit of anime before I have to go out into the world once more.

Fare Well to Home...

2005-04-29T15:22:00.000-07:00

This will be the last entry i'll make before I leave for europe on tuesday morning. This last week has been incredibly stressful. I've been hopping from small job to small job, wrapping up travel arangements, hating my paper, and generally stressing out about various things. You've heard it all already. I've had to put aside favorite activies and friends to make this work and i'll be glad when I get back and am able to start it all back up again. I don't regret it. This is gonna be an awesome trip that'll live on in my memories as my first true world experience, not counting mexico or canada mind you. But i'm still not liking putting aside my lazy lifestyle to plan and execute a huge undertaking like this. Its always the prep that kills me, never the trip itself. Oh well...good bye for now. See you on the other side...

Current song = Goo Goo Dolls - Long Way Down (remix)

Blast From the Past...

2005-04-24T22:36:00.000-07:00

Woot! I are back from da firstest re-enactment of der year. Loren ist tired, lots. But really, it was a decent start to the re-enacting season. "Mud"giver was as wet as it normally was, starting off with lightning and thunder storms on friday evening and working its way down to incredibly light drizzle just before we packed up today. I didn't fire a gun once this weekend, spending more time with my friends and involving myself in camplife. And while it was really not the best way to start out the season it was nice in its own, body and equipment soaking, way. The dancing, as always, was fun and sitting up around the company fire till 2am and being the oldest on there for the better part of the time has a certain charm that just can't be matched.

I look forward to the next far more though. My Daphne will be home to enjoy it with me, it being her first event in like 2 years! And i'll be doing it without my brother or dad out with me. They'll be speeding about Gettysburg at about the same time. If it wasn't for the fact that my brother was going i'd be really envious. Anyway, glad to be home and clean and dry once again.

Under Preasure...

2005-04-20T10:28:00.000-07:00

When I thought that I needed to update my blog the title just popped into my head. It seems fitting though, I am under lots of preasure. And yes, to whoever knows what I get to listen to occasionally while in Washu's car you can make the connection to the title and snicker all you want.

Anyway, its crunch time again. I have less then two weeks before I hop a plane to England. In that time I have to finish two yard projects at different houses, possibly wash a monster motor home, finish or get really close to finishing my paper, and get everything squared away so I don't end up floundering when I get overseas. Its tough, I've only now forbidden myself from playing my games in my off time and the next thing to go will be fanfiction, though i'm finding that really difficult since I found a cool new story last night...I have it open in the other window right now ^^;. Oh yeah and on top of that my parents don't talk to me anymore, talking has been replaced by grumbling, complaining, and berating me in some way or another to get me to pick up the pace a bit. Aren't parents wonderful, especially when they feel the need to state the obvious every time they open their mouths at me.

Cheers...

Sealed Deal...

2005-04-10T22:23:00.000-07:00

Its offical, I am going to europe. I bought the tickets meer hours ago. I chose the three week option and even managed to get the same flight back as my girlfriend and got a seat next to her for two of the three legs of the trip. (This is the point where you get up and dance a happy jig Daphne ;P) My combination of yard work, large vehicle washing, and pet sitting is earning me enough cash to get me there. Now all I have to do is continue to gain money and make sure I finish my paper before I leave or the day after I return. I'm aiming for the former. Happy day! Now excuse me while I go work the kinks from my body that 4 hours of hiking on saturday and 6 hours of yard work today have given me.

Green Thumb...

2005-04-06T18:41:00.000-07:00

Well I have a job now... kinda. If you consider yard work a real job. It does pay but its for a friend of my mom so its kind of a bum job. The only thing is this families yard is massive and needs serious work so i'll be sticking around and cleaning it up at least through next week. I pulled a whole bunch of weeds today, enough to fill a wheelbarrow, and moved a butt load of rocks from one place to another...and thats barely scratching the surface of what needs to be done. I have at least two more days of weeding to do along with reshaping part of the yard, raking out moss, dishing out wood chips, trimming bushes, and planting new plants. I'm sure I probably missed something in that list, oh well.

But as one problem is solved another always rears its ugly head. The paper i've been working on is beginning to get the best of me. The 11+ page monster is digging in its heals and refusing to let me finish it. Not to mention the books i've checked out to help me are now at least a week overdue. The things I go through for education. *shakes head* I've got a little less then a month left to finish it in so i'm crossing my fingers and hoping that inspiration strikes hard. Plus i've got to start keeping myself away from my games and similar addictions just to make sure I get all I need to get done before my trip to England, which is still on by the way. Whether its two weeks or three I don't know yet but i'm hoping against hope its gonna be three.

Current Music: Raistlin & the Rose, by: Lake of Fire

Unproductive Break...

2005-03-25T20:36:00.000-08:00

Break has been . . . uneventful. Or at least not filled with the sorts of things I had hoped to fill it with. I spent a good portion of the week job hunting. If I been hunting for food I would be dead by now. My latest swath of job applications has turned up nothing. The best tidbit having been Goodwill but so far I haven't heard a peep out of them when they promised to give me a call. And before you ask, yes i've called them back and no they haven't been able to give me any sign of a job. It's looking dismal at the moment but I really need one so i'm going to continue on.

Then there was the paper I am working on . . .

The pet sitting . . .

The brother sitting . . .

I remember spring break as being this wonderful adventure. A blessed breather from the duldrums of school that provided me with a whole week of adventures in the back woods and at the beach with my friends in hawaii. But about mid way through highschool it lost its wonder and just became an ok thing that sorta messed up my rythm. Now that i'm in college it has lost almost all of its charm. None of my friends are close enough to get to easily or they're out of state or country and I have no money to spend which cuts way back on interesting activities. The lack of motorized wheels and the presence of the first real rain this season has also severed my mobility. So i've pretty much sat in front of my computer this week and tried to keep myself occupied. It didn't work.

Now i'm kinda looking forward to starting my one class and finding a job. I'm wanting my brother back in school(which won't happen for another week, curse him) and wanting a bit of cash.

Hurry back to England and your computer and phone Daphne, I'm missing our our talks!

Reporting From the Front Lines...

2005-03-17T13:05:00.001-08:00

"This is Valakun reporting to you live from HQ at the front lines. At 11:25 today our groundforces delivered the final attack on the dreaded 'Finals' forces. After a vicious hour long fight with the elite 'History' division the conflict was finally over."

"The war began last week wednesday when, in a surprise attack, the special 'Tae Kwon Do' regiment overran our troops positions in and around the gym. After rallying, our forces were able to drive the enemy back and secure victory. Our top generals spent the next few days mapping out their avenues of attack on the remaining enemy forces. After intense study and several 'Halo' exercises our troops were ready. With the aid of our allies, the infamous 'Washu Brigade', our troops were able to bulldoze through the most stubborn opposition, the 'Math SS'. The next evening another attack was launched, this time on the previously impregnible fortress of 'Geology'. After taking the fortress our troops regrouped and prepared for the final assault. In a blaze of gunfire and exploding history facts they stormed the last bastion. The enemy survivors were last seen running for the hills where they will likely continue resitance into next week. This is Valakun coming to you live from army HQ for channel two news."

Yeah thats right, finals are over and man am I ever glad. Now i've gotta go fight another war, and this time i'm not sure if i'll win. After all, battling for a job is alot harder then takin a test.

The Big Finish!...

2005-03-07T16:36:00.000-08:00

Believe me when I say that this quarter is going to end with a bang. Trying to pack in as many projects and study periods as possible into my already busy week is not fun at all. Add to that various problems with friends, relatives, job searching, and future plans and you've got a bomb ready to blow. As always i've managed to put things off longer then they should have been put off and now i'm racing to finish them in time. Its a problem i've had for as long as I can remember, and while i've gotten better at dealing with it, last year helped alot, its still a problem I face every quarter. Of course this tends to get people angry with me for being lazy or junk like that but they just have to live with it. Its part of who I am and I don't think it'll ever fully go away.

As far as interesting things go I'm rather sort this month. The only interesting thing so far has been a martial arts tourny that I volunteered to help with this last saturday. While I could have competed I chose not to for fear of not knowing enough, but after the fact I wished I had. After seeing what some of the people did I knew I could have done better. I'll have to do it next year I guess. Oh well. Gotta go practice a bit more and do some homework before I head off to math.

Cooling Off...

2005-02-25T22:17:00.000-08:00

Ok so things wrapped up nicely after my last post. I got my passport stuff taken care of in about 5 minutes and i'll have it in plenty of time. The valentines has been sent off again, this time free of charge because I brought in the shredded proof. Nice to see they will do something about it. This week has just been really weird. I can't pinpoint any one thing in particular but its things like today's government disaster scene that have sort of framed the week. I don't want to think about anything but this weekend at the moment. The next few weeks are gonna be hell and I really am tired of it all. So i'm gonna go cool off and ignore everything but the present. Sigh...

Isn't Government Great!?...

2005-02-25T13:11:00.000-08:00

In the last few days I have had chance to discover just how badly the budget cuts and increases of spending in Iraq have hurt government run agencies in my area. For starters... Yesterday I went in to apply for a passport at city hall. I walked in and waited in line for five minutes before being able to talk to someone. She promptly told me that they no longer offered passport photos at this location and told me to go to walgreens about a mile away. She also told me that my fee's had to be paid by either a check or money order. Guess what I had...cash. So I went and got the pictures and am in the process of readying myself to return to city hall to try again. But feelings of discord reached a new high when I went out to get the mail not ten minutes ago. I discovered the valentines day card that I had sent to my girlfriend in England at the top of the stack of letters. The back had been torn open and then sealed with tape. Now I know government officals don't get paid much but are they really desperate enough to look through valentines cards for cash? Not that mine had any in it but still... And then there's the fact that i've been waiting multiple months now for a letter I was supposed to get from my friends down in Cali that contained collectable cards that i'd traded for. I sent my half off in time and they received it but theirs never reached me. They said they sent it but it ain't here. Grr...

Happy Valentines...

2005-02-14T10:50:00.000-08:00

Kiss em if you got em boy and girls! Its Valentines day and if you're lucky enough to have a special someone in your life then give them a good kiss and thank the heavens for them. That's what i'm doing right now, minus the kiss of course since my Valentine is a continent and an ocean away. Forget the chocolates and flowers guys. Saying "I love you" should be all you need. But don't think you can get away with nothing all the time...
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So here's a rose for my Daphne. Sorry you can't dry this one out and hang it in your room dear.

Reality Sucks...

2005-01-31T15:19:00.000-08:00

It is offical; Reality sucks! It's about as good as the gum you find stuck to the bottom of your shoes. There seems to be a universal law that applies to me now that I have started my life as a grown human being. Whenever something good happens in my life there will always be something bad nipping at its heals. For instance... Yesterday my mom and I had a discussion in which she suggested that I take Spring quarter off of school and visit England. We talked about it for hours and soon afterward I was online looking up things I would need to know for such a trip. I wasn't walking on air but it was close enough. Then, today, I got fired. Yeah thats right. I got let go because of one too many small mistakes. I get my last check on Wednesday and thats that.

So what now? Well I guess I pick myself up off my rear end, dust myself off, and go look for a new job. Considering how well my searches for jobs have gone in the past I doubt i'll have one for several weeks. Sigh.